Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Narc husband breaking my soul

10 replies

Ccustard · 16/12/2022 18:31

I’ve been with my husband since I was 16, 18 years on… we have children, he has always been this way now I look back but more recently I am very aware of it. He is a narcissist. I am below him, utterly and completely. He works, I’m home with the kids, I’m unimportant. He isn’t particularly good with the kids. My family hate him. He’s point blank vile. But it’s all I’ve known for so long. He is a massive black cloud over our entire house and I know I need out but I don’t know where to start. He’s verbally abusing, mentally abusive. I am very unwell at the moment and asked him to have a day off to help me today as he children are also unwell, I was told no and he would pick work over us again. I suppose the point of this post is I’m scared. I’m so unhappy but he’s not the sort to go believe me. His mind games and manipulation are sickening. I’m scared as this is all I know. I couldn’t go to family members as we have ( more than 5 children ) I am just so lost and don’t know where to turn. I’m so unhappy

OP posts:
trevthecat · 16/12/2022 18:38

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Please contact woman's aid for support about how to leave this situation. In the mean time you have support here

TheShellBeach · 16/12/2022 18:48

I am very sorry about this, OP. You should be able to access support and guidance from Women's Aid.

www.womensaid.org.uk

Original poster
Ccustard · 16/12/2022 19:50

Thankyou. I’m terrified of ss getting involved if any sort of domestic abuse is identified. Not for any other reason other than it would kill me with anxiety x

OP posts:
liarliarshortsonfire · 16/12/2022 19:55

I too met my narcissistic dh at 16, I left him 10 years later and I've never looked back since. I can't believe I put up with so much because I didn't know any better. We're always told relationships need work, what I didn't realise is that relationships are also fair and loving and caring.

Make the move op, it'll be the best decision you make for you and your dc in your entire life.

Original poster
Ccustard · 16/12/2022 20:19

I feel it in my bones. I’m just so scared. So much I’ve never done on my own. So much I’ve never experienced. I do love him in a way I’m the whole thing just hurts my heart. The kids do pick up on stuff. I hope and pray this will be my last Xmas with him. I just need the strength ❤️

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 16/12/2022 20:26

Nothing will be as hard as staying with him would be.

Tuilpmouse · 17/12/2022 00:08

I'm sorry you're going through this, and hope m you find the strength to extract yourself from this man.

Out of curiosity, you wrote "I couldn’t go to family members as we have ( more than 5 children )"...so how many children do you have? Seems odd to write "more than 5" rather than the actual number.

Original poster
Ccustard · 17/12/2022 00:12

Yes because I don’t want to be identified on here. I have more than 5

OP posts:
gemsandmilk · 18/12/2022 09:49

I promised myself last year would be the last Christmas I would spend with my narc. I left in the spring and it is glorious.

jeaux90 · 18/12/2022 10:59

I can guarantee you your life will be so much better without him in it. Left my narc ex 10 years ago. I still remember the relief walking through the door of my new home.

Contact women's aid. Your children will thank you longer term.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page