Me and my boyfriend have been together for one year and one month. A week into the relationship, I went on a night out and a work colleague bumped into me. We were both very drunk and he kissed me. He works in a different office to me and we barely see each other. We never brought this up again or spoke about it, I didn’t tell my partner because it seemed minor and it wasn’t an affair. I didn’t carry on speaking or entertaining this man.
Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, my boyfriend overheard a conversation which has nothing to do with me and in his head makes it about me and my work colleague. It’s actually about someone else, but he says to me did you kiss this person. I said ‘no where are you getting this information from’ as I had even forgotten it had happened. He said just tell me the truth and I said yes I did I’m sorry it was a drunken mistake and it was over a year ago.
Things have been perfect with us this year, all year we have had a lovely relationship. He is now telling me that I am evil and that I have cheated on him and that everyone should know that I am a cheat. He then messaged the man to ask for details, embarrassing me at work.
We decided to try to sort things out between each other, I have been crying non-stop. Last Saturday was my Christmas Work party and I happened to see said colleague. I spoke to him briefly to see if he was okay and to clear the air. I told my partner that I spoke to him very briefly, and he has told me that that is extremely disrespectful and that I should have ignored him. He keeps bringing it up even though he’s told me that we can work past it and although I feel absolutely awful for what I’ve done if he can’t forgive me, I can’t keep trying to make this work. I feel as though I am climbing up a growing mountain with no end in sight, if he can’t forgive me I’d like to be told so I can leave him alone.
We have been fine with each other this week and decided we both want this relationship and want to fix things. This morning, I called him to see if he would like to see me today and he told me that he is not ready to see me again properly and go back to how things were. He again told me I am evil and that I have made a massive mistake. He continues to tell me how much of a bad person I am and how he’s not sure if he can forgive me. I feel as though he is stringing me on and although I am the one in the wrong I now feel like he is becoming abusive . Has anyone been in a similar situation and can anyone offer me any advice because I’m not happy. If I say to him that I want to leave the relationship he will turn round and say that you’re the one that cheated on me, and of course walk away from all your problems, don’t confront the problem head-on . Please help me this is breaking me.