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Original poster

Postnatal depression

6 replies

tigerbearr · 16/12/2022 11:58

I've been struggling with postnatal depression since I had my baby. I tried to push through and plod along but I've finally reached out to my gp and asked for help because I'm really struggling. DH has been so unsupportive and turns everything into being about him. After having a really bad week and not being able to pick myself back up again I told him I'd reached out to the doctor and asked to be put on medication. His response was great now we'll have the kids took off us, and that I need to just chill out, stop worrying about things and get over it. Im heartbroken that the one person who I should be able to trust and lean on for support is pushing me away and telling me my feeling don't matter. I feel so low and literally at rock bottom. Im not worrying about anything, I have nothing to worry about. I can't help how I feel and I just can't shake this feeling at all. I don't know what else to do. Im sick of crying and fighting my way through every single day. I absolutely love my little one and he's no trouble at all, he's the easiest baby to look after and I've definitely bonded with him so I don't understand why I'm feeling like this all the time. Will things get better? Does anyone have any advice? I feel so lonely but I don't even want to leave the house to see anyone, it's a never ending cycle

OP posts:
EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 16/12/2022 12:40

Things will definitely improve with the right treatment - well done on reaching out to your gp for help, you've definitely done the right thing.

Your "D"H sounds totally unsupportive and frankly pretty horrible. What an absolutely ridiculous thing for him to say about having the kids taken off you. That's an awful thing to say to anyone, let alone someone struggling with anxiety. Has he been supportive of you up to now? Is he pulling his weight in the house practically:?

walkinthewoodstoday · 16/12/2022 14:36

Oh lovely I am so sorry to hear this. I have my own, not dissimilar thread, and it amplifies things when you have an unsupportive spouse. No one knows and it doesn't matter why you are feeling depressed. Well done for being brave and reaching out to your GP. I'm sure things will improve, but it's hard to imagine a better time. All I know is, once a partner has treated you with such contempt it's hard to get over that. I see my partner as a deeply unkind person now and I can't forgive him. I hope you start to feel better and Xmas is OK. It could make ir break you.

What is your family support?

Ijuststoodonlego · 16/12/2022 15:28

I had it post pregnancies. Well-done for reaching out to GP, you'll get help.

I think mine was exacerbated by unsupportive family. I'm sorry your husband isn't supportive, that certainly won't be helping things.

One hour and day at a time.
I read lots of self help books. What helped me might not help you. That's the beauty of MN, lots of different ideas and help.

Samaritans is a good number to look up if you have a moment where it gets too much. You can put baby next to you in a safe spot, cot or bouncer and they listen to you. They cannot answer questions or reply back with advice but they will let you vent.

Hugs to you 💐

Original poster
tigerbearr · 16/12/2022 18:08

Ijuststoodonlego · 16/12/2022 15:28

I had it post pregnancies. Well-done for reaching out to GP, you'll get help.

I think mine was exacerbated by unsupportive family. I'm sorry your husband isn't supportive, that certainly won't be helping things.

One hour and day at a time.
I read lots of self help books. What helped me might not help you. That's the beauty of MN, lots of different ideas and help.

Samaritans is a good number to look up if you have a moment where it gets too much. You can put baby next to you in a safe spot, cot or bouncer and they listen to you. They cannot answer questions or reply back with advice but they will let you vent.

Hugs to you 💐

Thanks. We have a local women's centre that the gp has referred me to and said I can also self refer to minds matter but it usually takes longer to see someone. Hoping to feel a bit more like myself soon

OP posts:
Nursemumma92 · 16/12/2022 18:16

As others have said, well done for reaching out to your GP. I had it after my first baby and waited far too long to reach out but even when I eventually did, the medication I was started on definitely helped and within a month or 2 I was feeling more like myself and able to cope.

Do you have any friends with babies or toddlers that you could meet up with during the day? I definitely found it easier getting through the day when I met up with others and we just chatted and it took my mind off things and made me feel normal for a bit.

As for your DH, I'm so sorry he is unsupportive. Of course your kids aren't going to get taken from you, what an awful thing to say. I hope he helps you practically by parenting his child and doing bits round the house. My DH wasn't unsupportive but he didn't understand how and why I felt the way I did when all we ever wanted was a baby.

Really hope you start to feel better soon, you'll get there. And loads of women feel this way, it's no reflection on you as a person or mother. Feel free to Pm me if you ever need an ear. Hugs to you x

Original poster
tigerbearr · 16/12/2022 19:11

Nursemumma92 · 16/12/2022 18:16

As others have said, well done for reaching out to your GP. I had it after my first baby and waited far too long to reach out but even when I eventually did, the medication I was started on definitely helped and within a month or 2 I was feeling more like myself and able to cope.

Do you have any friends with babies or toddlers that you could meet up with during the day? I definitely found it easier getting through the day when I met up with others and we just chatted and it took my mind off things and made me feel normal for a bit.

As for your DH, I'm so sorry he is unsupportive. Of course your kids aren't going to get taken from you, what an awful thing to say. I hope he helps you practically by parenting his child and doing bits round the house. My DH wasn't unsupportive but he didn't understand how and why I felt the way I did when all we ever wanted was a baby.

Really hope you start to feel better soon, you'll get there. And loads of women feel this way, it's no reflection on you as a person or mother. Feel free to Pm me if you ever need an ear. Hugs to you x

Thank you. He's my 5th baby but I've never felt like this before. I told the doctor I didn't know how to describe it but I just don't feel like myself. She said sometimes everything can feel underwhelming and even though they should make you feel happy, you just feel flat. And that's exactly how it is. Or one minute I feel fine and the next I'm bursting in to tears for seemingly no reason. Or as DH puts it "when someone opens their crisp packet upside down" (eye roll lol).
He does help out around the house and with the kids so there is that. He's told me this afternoon that he didn't realise I was feeling like that and I should have just told him if I wasn't feeling well. That he thought it was about us and I was trying to break up our marriage. I've told him a million times and he just makes it about him, but I've sent him lots of information and I think for once he's actually listened and read it because his attitude does suddenly seem to have changed. Only time will tell on that one I guess

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