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Original poster

Is it a date or not?

14 replies

Elusivelady · 15/12/2022 20:04

Hi all,

So I’ve been asked out for a drink by a guy and I’m unsure if it’s a ‘date’ or not.

A bit of background we’re both in our early 30’s now. Both single me a parent him not.

We knew each other at school he was couple or academic years above me but we were in the same form. (We had mixed aged group forms) anyway we used to talk and get on etc. he’s now been left 16 years, and we haven’t really seen each other since. We used to bump into one another in our late teens as we used the same gym and we would stop and have a chat.

we’ve always had each other on social media.

Anyway, recently he got in touch asking how I was etc; and we got talking about things and he said he would leave some of it for when we have a ‘catch up’. So I just took from that he meant a friendly drink.

Anyway then actually mentioned going out again and arranged a date etc. it was meant to happen tonight but he’s been stuck at work (which I know isn’t a cop out). He said he wanted to get his hair cut before we went out and he wouldn’t be able to do this until the weekend now as he was stuck at work late he was planning on getting it done before we met tonight. So we have re-arranged for Monday night.

when I asked what he wanted to do he said he was thinking maybe just a drink for the 1st time.

But there’s been no talk of fancying me if that makes sense. I asked him why he was single as hw is a good looking guy and likewise he asked me and told me I have always been really pretty.

Would it be too forward if I asked his intentions prior to meeting? Or should I just go Monday and see what comes of it?

OP posts:
category12 · 15/12/2022 20:07

Sounds like a date. I wouldn't check with him. See how it goes.

Bogiesaremyonlyfriend · 15/12/2022 20:09

I think I'd just go and see what comes of it. Maybe less pressure on yourself if you see it as just a catch up with an old friend. I'm sure you'll feel if it's flirty/there is a spark. Enjoy!!

Emmamoo89 · 15/12/2022 20:09

Just go and see what happens x

Pismascrescents · 15/12/2022 20:12

Date. Men these days are worried about saying the wrong thing. He’s probably going to subtly try it on and if you indicate you aren’t interested just keep the friendship

GoT1904 · 15/12/2022 20:13

If he said for the first time then yea I'd say this is a date. If you're happy with that then just go with the flow and see what happens :)

Vaccine001 · 15/12/2022 20:15

Wondering if he is married...

Original poster
Elusivelady · 15/12/2022 20:36

Thankyou for your replies

I have just always liked/found this guy so attractive so for him to even ask me for a drink makes me have butterflies. But I am also a massive over thinker and like to know the ins and outs lol.

He is not the most talkative in his messages but; has messaged me everyday since we starting talking to ask how I am etc.

Its literally taking everything in my power to not message him asking him what he’s looking for But I do not want too scare him off x

OP posts:
Original poster
Elusivelady · 15/12/2022 21:04

Huh?

hea definitely not married or ina relationship.

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 15/12/2022 21:36

Sounds like a date to me. I recently went on a 1st date with an ex colleague. He emailed me after seeing me again for the first time in 2yrs to say do you fancy a drink, but the way it was worded it was obvious it was more than a colleague catch up. I told my friends it’s not a date, but it was, and it was obvious we were both interested during the evening. He gave me a quick kiss on the lips at the end of the night and made a sharp exit!! 2nd date we had a snog in a shop doorway and at the train station! 3rd date is next week and he’s making me dinner! I’d say we are definitely dating now.

Don’t ask him the intention, just go with it. It will be obvious if he’s interested, and I reckon he is

ShandaLear · 15/12/2022 22:02

Do you need to put a label on it? You’re going for a drink with an old friend. If anything comes of it, great. If not, you had a nice catch up with an old friend.

gamerchick · 15/12/2022 22:06

Sounds like a date to me. Get your glad rags out. Have fun Grin

Mintleafcocktail · 15/12/2022 22:06

This is actually an ideal scenario. You get to meet him with no massive expectations and see how it goes! If you find him unbearable on the date, or boring etc you can simply say you thought it was a catch up as friends. If you like him and he likes you it will be obvious. Think of this as ideal in terms of there being no pressure and just go and see how you feel!

Haveahappyholiday · 15/12/2022 22:06

Keep an open mind. Go and have a drink and see how it goes!

HundredMilesAnHour · 15/12/2022 22:06

Its literally taking everything in my power to not message him asking him what he’s looking for

DO NOT DO THIS!!

Chill out a bit. Just relax and stop stressing.

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