Baby due marriage over

[Boogiewoogieanddance]

I think this is it and I don’t know how to do it...

Im just back from a walk and even my eldest (10yo) said she was happy now the argument was over it maybe we could have a separate holidays to help. As in a break to sort but obviously holiday sounds nicer. I didn’t suggest this so think it’s the final straw, I don’t ever want to make my child feel like that.

We are a blended family, one each.. don’t know life without each other and probably what he been holding us together because I don’t know how to split them up. Two together and due another imminently.

I am just exhausted, he can do no wrong, he work comes before mine, i found him messaging another woman shortly after I found out I was pregnant.. didn’t see anything overly suspicious, I don’t know her personally but I do know he was sleeping with her at the end of his last relationship... as far as I was aware they weren’t in touch anymore. I started a new role and he has been unsupportive. When I am sick he fights with me and leaves for the day so I have the kids even though I am trying to WFH and he is off. He asks me what’s wrong and I tell him, could be something minor that is easily sorted but he can’t take any criticism and stands and calls me names until he winds me up and I am become unreasonable. Why ask??

ive really struggled with my mental health this last year, haven’t been able to get through to the GP, midwife made a referral but I haven’t heard anything. I really am being push over the edge today and o said I want to go to hospital because I need to talk to someone and I feel unsupported. Said it’s about my mental health and he said I can’t go because his work comes first and I need to wait until the morning.. yet he expects me to just take time off on a whim to sort him out. We both work for the same company and they are fantastic in situation where he would need to be offf to have the kids. Especially with a heavily pregnant wife.

don’t really know what I want but I have literally no family support around me, closest is 2 hours away and it’s an elderly relative with cancer so can’t go there. How do I leave without breaking the kids hearts too badly

Do not frame leaving a man as breaking the child end hearts but doing right by the children so their hearts are not broken.

I left my now ex DH when I found out he was cheating. I was heavily pregnant and once I was out from under it all I realised I was treated v badly (even without the cheating).

I framed it as better to leave and at some point be able to like each other enough to co parent well (which is the place I'm now at with my ex) or stay until I hated him so much that bitterness and upset destroys me and the kids see it.

It's hard. Get your ducks in a row financially speaking. Figure out a plan.

This isn't a blended family issue so much as a your partner is a massive tit issue.

I don't know if it helps but years on I'm remarried and have one lovely DSC and my Dc and a new baby. It can be done.

You deserve better. Don't let your kids think this is love because it isn't.

Be kind to yourself 💐

The kids will be fine. Honestly they will. It might be hard for them at first but in the long run they will be happier than if you stay and continue to model this bad relationship (I'd even say it's abusive).

You know that you deserve better right? Even if it means you stay single and live a more peaceful life without this self absorbed and inconsiderate man, that's better than staying. Please show your kids that they deserve to be loved and valued by leaving the one who doesn't love or value you. You can do this!

The part that hurts me most is me and DD loosing DSD. And DDs relationship with my husband, she doesn’t know anyone else and calls him dad.. it was never forces and she knows in a way he isn’t because we met after she was born but he’s all she’s known. 90% of the time he is great.. but only really if I’m in top form. Then when he’s bad he’s a real prick. I feel like I’ve done the wrong thing by putting so much effort into working on myself and he hasn’t done the same in return. We have massive communication issues and he is unable to have an argument without it lasting days.

I do feel like I could co-parent well because we both know what it’s like having relationships with children end. Me and him are the only two people my DD has. DSD has us and her mum and her partner so it would then be too much for me to stay in contact aswell.

I just don’t know what to do... Don’t really know what I’m looking for on here but no one to talk to at home.

Financially I am fine and could get a rental as we both work full time.

I don’t know if I’m extra hormonal, depressed and agitated or if it’s really just the end of our marriage, it’s not even long. Just feel like a massive knob

Maybe worded it as if the blended family is an issue.. this isn’t the case. I love our family more than anything. That’s what makes it so difficult because I’m not just loosing a husband but my DD is loosing a sister and I am loosing her too.

I totally get it but if your Dd and DSD have a close relationship I'm sure mum would be willing to help facilitate that relationship (I certainly would and my ex's wife was the ow and I would if she wished to maintain a relationship with my Dd if they split.

I think another poster said it, I know you desperately don't want to see it, but your oh sounds abusive and actually this will rub off on the kids sadly.

You cannot cheat on someone you love because when you truly love someone you don't see others.

I'm so sorry

He sounds narcissistic ( or basically just the average self entitled man). You’ll never feel better while he is around.

The kids will still be able to see other. And continue to be sisters. They also now have a baby sister/brother in common.

you’ll be happier without him and that will make you a better parent.