Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I put up with this behaviour.

27 replies

Otw · 15/12/2022 06:10

I would value you some advice and a women's perspective on this matter. I have been in a relationship since I was a teenager (about 33 years)with a beautiful women. We have 2 teenage boys. My partner has never shown any real physical interest in me. I am a good looking and very funny guy ( not my words but other women and a few men )i am a manly type of bloke and confident with my body and my sexuality.i worship our children and a good dad. this has always been an issue but has always been put to one side and something more "important" has always had the focus.i have left things and never pushed once we had our boys i didnt push things as I know it's hard being a new mother and all the stress and strains that brings. I've never complained or been against her having a life with friends and she hasn't missed out on girly weekends away or holidays. We have had our issues and problems over the years as you do but got through them but this issues has been consistent. I have begged , pleaded and cried for her to just give me a hug now and then and she just looks at me with a blank face. I i have had ever excuse in the world and if i only i had done this or that. The goal posts have constantly moved. I have worked away quite a lot and that has just masked any issues. You come back its nights out and restraunts. I've put with being brushed off or pushed off and now it's having a serious effect on my mental and physical health. I have slept on the couch, in the car and walked the streets and she wouldn't really bat an eyelid. I have said her behaviour is a form of abuse.I have asked is their someone else male or female. I am questioning why I have spent my life pawing at some one that clearly isn't attracted to me and dosent love me and now in my late 40s do I just put up with it and be gratefull she is a good mother and our chikdren are OK.

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 15/12/2022 08:55

Just to pick up on the title of your thread, @Otw , I'm wondering if you're seeking external validation? It sounds like you've been unhappy for a long time in this relationship, but when it comes to leaving, you're unable to give yourself permission.

Who generally decides in your life what you 'should' and 'shouldn't' do? Who do you think is the right person to do it? Who would you trust to guide you on this? A forum?

You know what you feel. You know you're not happy. You're pretty sure nothing will change if you stay. What is it that anybody can say that will give you the final push to make a decision? Why are their thoughts/suggestions more important to you than your own feelings?

OldFan · 15/12/2022 12:00

I have begged , pleaded and cried for her to just give me a hug now and then

Come on OP not even you believe you're going on about a hug. This is manipulative of you.

I have slept on the couch, in the car and walked the streets and she wouldn't really bat an eyelid

Presumably there's no reason for you to walk the streets or sleep in the car except manipulation on your part.

I have said her behaviour is a form of abuse

This is manipulative- her not feeling like sex and not giving it you on demand when she doesn't want it is not abuse.

I am questioning why I have spent my life pawing at some one

Was this a typo of some kind? Pawing at someone who doesn't want it is abuse.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page