and another thing

[soverytired]

going on from my previous thread describing my utter stupidity, I'm fw but please dont use that name for the time being.

This so very up and down isnt it??

I want to go throw myself in his arms and ask him why he's doing all this......

Eleven years is a lot of time to forget isnt it, made a really unhappy phone call to friend in the middle of the night and we talked for hours. She remembers more bad bits that happened to me which I have completely forgotten, I'm slowly realising that I was living the life that I would tell another woman to grab the kids and leave the wanker because I would never tolerate it.....but I didnt see it I really didnt.

Spoke to solicitors found a suitable one yesterday may/will instruct him on monday I hope. Looks like its going to be very expensive. H is not going to be reasonable.

He took our girls out for an hour, and my eldest was in bits afterwards when I met her, apparantly he had spent the hour bad mouthing me, and telling our girls they didnt have a dad, which is a horrible thing to say to two little daddys girls....
I just told her she would always have a daddy.....

And this morning, the boiler has broken, any plumbers in dagenham?
Am feeling just a leetle bit on the edge of hysteria.

it all seems a mess now ,but you will look back on this and laugh. my MIL went through this she had been with FIL for 22 years but he sounds just like yours ,now 7 years later she is happily married to someone else ,has everything she has ever dreamed of and cant belive she put up with him for so long,keep your chin up

I don't know your story but that he would take it out on the children. How utterly immature.

Woods and trees - yep, been there. Six months on, life is hard but SOOOO much better, does that make sense?

Hold on in there - I think wanting it to be alright is normal. Accepting it isn't going to be and then, having an ex- be awful seem to be part-and-parcel in a lot of splits.

Glad you've got RL support and then, MN is great, too. Step one - get through the weekend. Speaking to a solicitor can be very reassuring - I found it good to have someone tell me I WAS being reasonable.

OK, I'm about to instruct solicitors, and everyone is terrified that h will try and hurt me, although initially I wasnt terribly worried about this, I've been getting rather strange phone calls for h all apparantly form firneds who want to get back into contact with him....

To be honest, as I didnt realise at the time just how awful my situation was, I am wondering if friends and family are right and I should worry for my safety.

I live too far from my parents and friends (h's doing) for them to come running in an emergency in time. Is there anything I can do about this, would speaking to my local community safety unit be worth doing or would I just be wasting everybody's time.... I wantto fast forward to when this is all over