Is it normal to think more of an ex around Christmas time?

[Newbeginings2]

It's 18 months since my 4.5 relationship ended. It wasn't my decision, I was very hurt and it took me a long time to work myself back again. The last couple of weeks I've been thinking about him / the breakup again. I think it might be the time of year. I'm annoyed at myself! Anyone else experience this around Christmas?

I think that's very normal. Loss is harder around special occasion and celebrations.

Just sit with the emotions, accept them and don't act on them. You're still processing.

Thanks. I feel silly really considering 18 months has passed.

Yes l agree with previous poster - anniversaries and special events can be triggering. Just accept it and try to let it wash over you until the moment passes

I think it's all the Christmas ads and music has me nostalgic.

If you dont have kids together i would give them a second thought.
If had kids i would be a bit sad about the lost "family" christmas that appears so much on TV.

** would not give them a second thought.

Yeah, this time of the year is a bitch for stirring up old wounds.
Have you got someone new in your life?

No, I haven't dated at all in the 18 months. I haven't met anyone and I haven't tried to. I was hurt and really have no interest.

I think it's a time of year when a lot of people look back over things; that's normal. I hope you can take your thought forward from here OP and have a happy year ahead of you 🌻.

I'm like this at Christmas as well, I reminisce about Christmas with an ex from 30 years ago, I was crazy about him and it was a great Christmas and not many have measured up to it since.

Totally normal, especially as you were with him for nearly half a decade. Christmas just stirs up a lot more emotions because it's the time of the year that's associated with family, love, couples etc etc.

I used to get this a good few years after I'd split from an ex. I didn't want him back, it was just nostalgia. And it feels a lot better once you realise that's all it is.

So don't feel silly, it happens to a lot of us!

I'm feeling the same, but it's the time of year I think to be reminded of things from our past, both good and bad. Keep moving forward once it's passed.

I think your willingness to consider that your thinking/emotional patterns might not be 'normal' and your willingness to feel yourself to be 'silly' and to be annoyed with yourself demonstrate something: you haven't got your own back.

You'd recover much more quickly from difficulties if you did.

I'm not sure what you mean, Watchkeys? Maybe you can explain further.

Well, if a friend kept thinking of an ex, would you tell her that you doubted she was normal, that she was silly, and get annoyed with her?

Or would you take a more supportive route?