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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feeing like a teenager again

8 replies

Vivaleconfused · 14/12/2022 05:52

Hello and thanks in advance for reading. None of this matters so much anymore as we’re changing schools after Christmas, but this situation has been going through my mind for days and I was hoping someone can shed some light?

I have been single for just under a year now and I haven’t had the time nor emotional capability to even consider dating or anything - other than the times my thoughtful friends have tried to pair me up. But nothing serious. I was married for 10 years so this is all new to me.

There is someone leaving me so confused. Usually I’d say to a friend that a man will never let you be confused, if he likes you then he’ll tell you etc. But…

There is a teacher, my age, at my child’s (now old) school. We haven’t spoken much as he doesn’t really teach my child but I regularly see him at school drop off/pick up and occasionally we’d say hi. Just usual human to human communication.

Then, out the blue, things got weird. He was working with my child (and a group of others) on a project. Since then he’s been really different, either over friendly or will just totally ignore me. An example of ignoring me was when I had to sign my child into the evening nativity, he was standing at the sign in table, the very second he saw me he turned his back to me but spoke to my child to show where their name was on the list. That’s only one example, there’s several more. I didn’t think too much of it until I was laying in bed this evening and just remembering school.

I stand in the same place in the playground each day. This teacher never comes out in the afternoons, perhaps once per week maybe. However over the past couple of weeks he’d come out every afternoon and stand close to where I’d stand but with his back to me. That’s not odd in itself, but it’s the strangest place he’d stand in the playground as a teacher, so??

On our final few days though, especially throughout nativity plays and assembly (where parents attend for awards etc), he was staring at me throughout all of them. I’m not imagining it. I thought I was but I know I’m not. Those final days too he would come out onto the playground and this time stare at me. I stared back and we made eye contact for so long, and my freaking vagina has given my brain ideas.
Now I can’t stop thinking about him. He’s not my type in the slightest. What the heck is happening? I’m so confused. Has he hypnotised me? Do you reckon I stand a chance? I’m a teacher too (at a different school, one my child will now be attending), so I know he wouldn’t and couldn’t do anything while I was there as a parent. Should I message him or just leave it?

OP posts:
Mumma · 14/12/2022 06:07

Sounds like he is just doing his job? They usually have rotas for yard or door duties...

The staring is weird. I get accused of staring sometimes though and I am just in a day dream :/

Vivaleconfused · 14/12/2022 06:20

No, he wasn’t doing playground duty, he just came out every single afternoon and came to a part of the school yard which isn’t anywhere near any students, so he wasn’t doing his job being there. Teachers don’t do playground duty at that school, only educational assistants can (insurance reasons). I’m not in England.

The staring was proper staring. His eyes even followed me across the room when I moved before he continued staring. The eye contact on the final day was about 90 seconds long in total but with a small break in between those 90 seconds where his eyes gave me a total once over.

It’s so hard to explain. This is probably why I’m usually so dismissive of my own friends when they tell me something similar. I’ve honestly never felt anything like this. Need to crush this crush.

OP posts:
candycane10 · 14/12/2022 06:26

I stand in the same place in the playground each day. This teacher never comes out in the afternoons, perhaps once per week maybe. However over the past couple of weeks he’d come out every afternoon and stand close to where I’d stand but with his back to me.

Have you posted this before. I notice this exact scenario from very recently

Aussiegirl123456 · 14/12/2022 06:28

Yep this sounds familiar

category12 · 14/12/2022 07:00

He sounds like a freak.

I'd steer well clear. If he's running hot and cold and mind games already from a distance, you'd be a fool to pursue it.

Vivaleconfused · 14/12/2022 07:11

No, I haven’t posted before.

I did see a similar post a few days ago though. It wasn’t me. Promise.

Maybe you’re right and he’s trouble. In my head, he has a crush on me but knew he couldn’t act on it because my child is in the school. Guess I’ll just leave it and I’m sure I’ll get over this crush soon enough. Just that freaking eye contact was like nothing else. I know I’ll remember that forever 😂

Fuck. Never thought I’d be like this at 40!

Thanks for your replies anyway.

OP posts:
Aussiegirl123456 · 14/12/2022 07:46

category12 · 14/12/2022 07:00

He sounds like a freak.

I'd steer well clear. If he's running hot and cold and mind games already from a distance, you'd be a fool to pursue it.

Agree

Mumma · 14/12/2022 22:00

Vivaleconfused · 14/12/2022 06:20

No, he wasn’t doing playground duty, he just came out every single afternoon and came to a part of the school yard which isn’t anywhere near any students, so he wasn’t doing his job being there. Teachers don’t do playground duty at that school, only educational assistants can (insurance reasons). I’m not in England.

The staring was proper staring. His eyes even followed me across the room when I moved before he continued staring. The eye contact on the final day was about 90 seconds long in total but with a small break in between those 90 seconds where his eyes gave me a total once over.

It’s so hard to explain. This is probably why I’m usually so dismissive of my own friends when they tell me something similar. I’ve honestly never felt anything like this. Need to crush this crush.

Not sure why this has excited you then... sounds like a netflix documentary in the making. Not romantic. Maybe give his name to a trusted friend, just in case.

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