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Original poster

Single, mid thirties, ticking bodyclock: are there any nice single guys left in London?

29 replies

legalalien · 01/02/2008 22:24

Not that I'm interested myself . But I have several career-minded friends (I add in the career minded part as an indication that they're time poor), in varying states of despair, who tell me that everyone nice is "taken" and that there's no chance of their finding someone to settle down and have kids with.... any views? I've never been single in London so don't have the faintest... is there anywhere you can meet somewhere nice (other than through friends) when you're OVER the bar scene? Does anyone have a nice brother or BIL they're prepared to tout around

OP posts:
Original poster
legalalien · 01/02/2008 22:25

that should be someone, rather than somewhere. Too much white wine with dinner, clearly.

OP posts:
controlfreakyagain · 01/02/2008 22:25

nope. they're taken or gay or slimeballs. (according to my single girlfriends.....)

PeterDuck · 01/02/2008 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

warthog · 01/02/2008 22:28

i have loads! truly lovely, kind blokes. you have to get to know them but most women don't bother. just turn their noses up.

Quattrocento · 01/02/2008 22:31

I only know

Lovely married men
Wonderful gay men
Total fuckwits

And I believe that I am truly representative

controlfreakyagain · 01/02/2008 22:32

it's true! see below...

Original poster
legalalien · 01/02/2008 22:34

bother.

might NOT show them this thread then - or just leave warthog in and edit out everyone else? Maybe we could replace the for sale board with a "mums set their single friends up" board?

OP posts:
spicemonster · 01/02/2008 22:36

No. I am now in my 40s and spent my entire 30s looking for one and have now given up

Quattrocento · 01/02/2008 22:36

Yeah, Warthog, you're the gal who can

Where are these men btw?

Original poster
legalalien · 01/02/2008 22:40

pmsl at Quattro

actually (looks around nervously in case anyone recognises me) I do know a lovely, nearly 30 year old, very successful at his job but shy-about-dating guy, loves music. not terribly tall, although that shouldn't REALLY matter. He's just not the right person for my 6-years older and very worldly wise friends.

OP posts:
bookwormmum · 01/02/2008 22:43

I think a lot of women in their mid-30s are probably setting the bar a bit high if they want unattached, straight and no kids plus umpteen other qualities. I've rarely had problems getting dates in my 30s (sounds big-headed but it's true). Easier than when I was in my 20s or teens tbh - probably as I was a virtual hermit as a teen though . You do have to put the work in though and accept men in their 30s often have their own agenda or will want perhaps a speedier commimtment than you might want to give....

springlamb · 01/02/2008 22:45

We have two male friends, early 40s, unattached, no significant history to report. I cannot understand this as they are both decent looking, interesting people.
Really sometimes I wonder why it happens.
Both would have liked children. Both would have made good fathers.
I often wonder how such an ugly bug as my dh got snapped up and they got left behind.
Actually, the night I met dh I was on a mission to 'get off' (excuse the 80s lingo) with one of these guys and ended up with dh. Wouldn't swap now of course (says she).

bookwormmum · 01/02/2008 22:49

I know a man whose 'range'was crudely put at 'barely legal to still breathing' by one cruel friend but he met a girl (as the song goes) 8 years ago this year, they dated for 3 years, got married in 04 and had their first baby last September.

I think he decided she'd do as she could walk and talk at the same time. She probably saw his nice semi-detatched house, good job in the city and kind nature (he's not ugly but he missed the handsome tree).

The cruel friend is still single .

Original poster
legalalien · 01/02/2008 22:51

bookwormmum - I think the problem is that the people I have in mind set the bar too high in their 20s, and only now realise that you can't select an OH by ticking things off a checklist.

springlamb - not sure why you're using past tense if your friends are early 40s - as guys they still have LOTS of time to have children (energy on the other hand??? and I'm thinking here year 1 sleep deprivation rather than TTC)

OP posts:
spicemonster · 01/02/2008 22:53

bookwormmum - I went out with lots of men (and don't feel that I've been hit too hard with the ugly stick). None of them wanted to settle down or have kids. I didn't discriminate against men who already had children either (my longest relationship was with a man with 2 kids).

I just think there are an awful lot of blokes who don't feel they want to do all that till later on. If you have a look at dating sites, most of the men in their mid-late 30s are looking for much younger women and say 'some day' to kids.

bookwormmum · 01/02/2008 22:54

I have a friend just a few months younger than me who'll only date men of Welsh ancestry (she is Welsh through and through). Even better if they are rugby players but you don't get many Welsh internationals hanging about my neck of the woods....

Mind I've only recently gone off hope of Colin Firth knocking at my door so I can shout .

claraquitetirednow · 02/02/2008 07:53

This could have been me six years ago. I lived in London for about three years and although I had a few flings (or "got off" with a few men - wow I had forgotten that great term!), I did not meet a single decent unmarried man. I really WAS despairing.

I am now married with two children (well a child and a new baby). But I had to go to Jamaica to find him!

Ironically he was a Londoner.

claraquitetirednow · 02/02/2008 07:53

S No it wasn't a holiday fling. We both worked out there.

claraquitetirednow · 02/02/2008 07:53

PS No it wasn't a holiday fling. We both worked out there.

TheBlonde · 02/02/2008 07:59

I think internet or speed dating is the way to go
Most of the 30 something blokes I know are finally starting to settle down and are now attached

lots of the attached ones will become available again due to divorce

bigboydiditandranaway · 02/02/2008 08:02

Have your friends tried joining clubs/courses doing things they enjoy or dating agencies? After doing both of the above myself, i met dh at work!

warthog · 02/02/2008 08:20

ok, well these guys i'm thinking of are a touch socially awkward. you'd never meet them at a bar, or in fact anywhere social.. so that sort of rules them out.

ZippiBabes · 02/02/2008 08:26

there seem to be loads of 31 year old guys on dating sites...i am seeing one who lives in london he is single, tall, clever,goood job,no kids,funny

unfortunately i dont live in london and i am 50 so not exactly an obvious choice,but he is very nice

so there are at least some

BabiesEverywhere · 02/02/2008 08:30

I have a lovely BIL, lives in London and is in his late 30's (I think) Good job, very social and goes out loads. Has a good circle of married friends. Is not gay.He had has his heart broken by a serious girlfriend several years ago and hasn't found the right lady since, though he has dated.

Don't understand why he is still single.

bookwormmum · 02/02/2008 12:11

In my local paper a vicar has appealed for a wife . He's asking woman to write in to be considered for dinner dates.

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