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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

To bugger off for Christmas?

11 replies

Betafeta · 13/12/2022 20:19

Picture this…
Two adult children both with partners/plans over Christmas, seeing them Christmas Eve.
6 days off work.
Relationship with partner (4 years) a mess, cohabitate but purely out of convenience.
They have two pre teens who will be here Christmas Eve.
Would you bugger off over Christmas? Air b & b by the sea? Fancy hotel, Canaries or further?
Nobody needs me, I don’t particularly ‘fit’ anywhere, WWYD? x

OP posts:
GreenManalishi · 13/12/2022 20:20

Do it!

DenholmElliot11 · 13/12/2022 20:22

You are needed! There are lots of charities that could do with some help providing meals for the homeless on xmas day. Don't sit at home mithering. Oh and make it your resolution to get rid of your partner if its not working. Co-habiting out of convenience sounds grim, why would you do that?

BaddogGooddoggy · 13/12/2022 20:23

I’d go

Original poster
Betafeta · 13/12/2022 20:24

DenholmElliot11 · 13/12/2022 20:22

You are needed! There are lots of charities that could do with some help providing meals for the homeless on xmas day. Don't sit at home mithering. Oh and make it your resolution to get rid of your partner if its not working. Co-habiting out of convenience sounds grim, why would you do that?

That’s actually a really good point and one I hadn’t thought of, I’ll look into that.

cohabiting out of convenience was never the plan, I loved him but step parenting and relocating has squeezed the life out of me, I’ll be out of here early 2023 😊

OP posts:
Ylvamoon · 13/12/2022 20:28

Go! Or do as DenholmElliot11 suggested... just do ot quietly.

Original poster
Betafeta · 13/12/2022 20:29

I could do both, I can’t spend Christmas Day here so I’ll look at volunteering then. Boxing Day onwards I’ll bugger off 😊

OP posts:
ICanHideButICantRun · 13/12/2022 20:31

You don't need to volunteer. (It's very late to do that anyway.) You are allowed to have a perfectly nice Christmas on your own. You don't have to do something for someone else - have a good break like virtually everyone else is.

I'm not sure why women always get told to volunteer when every other day of the year is usually spent doing something for someone else. Can you imagine a man on a male forum being told to volunteer if he fancied some time away?

ICanHideButICantRun · 13/12/2022 20:31

When I say "I'm not sure why..." of course I am sure why.

Original poster
Betafeta · 13/12/2022 20:33

Thankyou, again a great point x

OP posts:
DenholmElliot11 · 13/12/2022 20:34

@ICanHideButICantRun I totally agree with you it's ok to just rest at christmas and women DO do stuff for everyone all year it's just that volunteering stops you dwelling on your own problems and makes you feel better and yes I'd have said that to a man as well.

billy1966 · 13/12/2022 20:46

Absolutely you can suit yourself.

Well done for moving on from a situation that offers you little.

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