This is coming to an end isn’t it…

[NCFAPR]

NC for this

I been with partner for just over a year. We both have kids to other people and are in early 30’s.

Relationship started amazingly and we spent every minute we could together. The sex was great and it seemed to be heading to marriage and living together one day. We would spend about 4 nights a week together and it took only a few months for us to say we love each other.

Fast forward to now and we barely see each other, perhaps once a week. We haven’t had sex for about 4 weeks and conversations are mundane and repetitive.

We still say that we love each other but I can’t help feel that I’m more invested in this. I always message first, suggest things to do and the attraction hasn’t dried up on my part and would have sex each night.

Is this standard for a relationship moving out of the “honeymoon” phase or do I need to accept that this doesn’t have a future?

It's normal for things to move out of the honeymoon period, but this sounds like more than that. The worst bit is that "conversations are mundane and repetitive". You should still enjoy each other's company and make each other smile, even if the sexual side of things has settled down a bit. Sorry OP.

Agree with @Pictograph - the frantic sex dies down but other aspects should pick up as you settle into the relationship. I may be cynical but just saying 'I love you' means little if there is nothing else to back this up.
You need to sit down with him and have an open conversation about where the relationship is going.

Thanks for the perspective. It just feels at times with my relationships, you give everything and as soon as it stops being shiny and new then you are no longer wanted. I’m not sure why I thought this would be different.

What do you mean, to ‘give everything’ OP?

This does sound like it’s run its course, sorry. A year is no time at all, it shouldn’t still be passionate and non-mundane. In fact I don’t think it should ever be mundane…

It SHOULD be, I meant!

Just ignore me, I can’t seem to get my words out 😂

Maybe next time try giving a little less, OP? Treat the first year as a chance to have fun and get to know each other, rather than laying the groundwork for a serious relationship. Then if it turns out you're not right for each other, you haven't invested so much into it.

It does like its fizzling out, sadly. Never mind though, hold onto the good times you had, and look forward to your next adventure.

Sorry OP but it does sound like it's fizzling out. Following the honeymoon period you should be enjoying each other's company. The excitement wears off but you should still both be happy, passionate, invested. No sex isn't great, it suggests more about lack of intimacy and interest than lack of sex drive.

IME, the first few months are great but what comes after- security, comfort, etc is more important. If you feel your lives together are mundane and boring, it's probably not right