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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just a quick vent

2 replies

TiredButDancing · 13/12/2022 16:43

A few threads have been almost "triggering" for me recently. I am using inverted commas because I am massively over egging the word triggering and I'm fully aware of the fact that I'm exaggerating and being OTT. But my god, I feel so angry right now. BIL is a delusional, abusive twat who is probably a covert narcissist. Sadly, from being on MN, I see that there's a sort of "script" with men (people) like him and he is 100% on there. Things have ramped up recently as hm and SIL are finally almost completely split up. He does his best to get us involved with his delusions (we consistently ignore and/or tell him to stop) but it's infuriating. Most recently we've had:

Long ranting messages telling us that he needed to "teach SIL a lesson" (justifying some pretty poor behaviour from him, including physical threats).
Attempts to get Dh to agree with him (man to man?) that SIL spending time with a man he dislikes is unacceptable (him and SIL are separated).
Veiled threats aimed at MIL
A firmly worded suggestion that we should discipline our DS because DS knows about the above physical threats (hard to miss - he's not deaf or blind)
A whinge that he is not invited to our family events any more.

And breathe. I might have to exit MN for a short while. Just because seeing how common men like this are infuriates me so much for all the women like SIL who are so beaten down by it.

OP posts:
TheCurseOfBoris · 13/12/2022 17:30

He sounds vile OP. I think the best way forward is to not engage, grey rock.

TiredButDancing · 13/12/2022 20:30

TheCurseOfBoris · 13/12/2022 17:30

He sounds vile OP. I think the best way forward is to not engage, grey rock.

Thanks. He is.

Grey rock is all I've done for months. Usually DH too, but for genuine reasons had to contact BIL which opened the door. DH has just ignored all the recent rants so we're back to grey rock. But it's hard to forget the crazy.

OP posts:
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