How to not let limerence set in

[Annabananna1]

I'm a couple of months out of a break up. About a week since we stopped talking all together. I was besotted, he said he was too.

But I'm aware that I'm making it in to a much bigger, greater love story in my head than it actually was.

I don't want to cause myself extra hurt. I'm already hurting enough. I do want to get over this.

Can anyone suggest how to not let it become a huge thing in my mind / memory

Watching with interest as I could use similar advice

Find other things to do. Fill your life up. Don't give yourself time to dwell. Stop him being the focus by putting other stuff front and centre.

Don't spend your time mooning over some bloke. You're not a teenager.

Read about limerance, understand the process and chemicals causing it. Where you together long? Why did you split up if you were both besotted?

Did he have anything you didn't like about him? Focus on why he wasn't right. At very least he wasn't besotted as you were so don't create in your mind he was/is.

Pining over someone that won't be doing the same is a waste of time.

Good points.

It was months rather than years.

It was long distance and neither of us felt happy doing long distance. Only about 2 hours so not the end of the world. But that was the reason for the breakup.

He's been more emotional than I have. I'm trying to keep it in.

Just remember that half the time limerence is a word tossed about by stalkers trying to rationalise their often criminal and/ or creepy behaviour

So my advice would be to not go down that road and leave the bloke alone

Give yourself a talking to (as you would to a friend acting like a fool) and stop dwelling and do something more productive with your time.

How many times did you meet up in person? What little things annoyed you? What did you like? We can try and add perspective!

For example you say he was emotional. This may be okay if you only meet up 2 days a month. Living with this day in, day out maybe very different.

This focusses OP's thinking on him. Better to think about something else altogether; something that will change her focus.

Who decided to break up?

Who decided to break up?

He did.

He was a bit of a snob. I couldn't have put up with that forever.

Very good advice.

Make a list of every remotely negative thing about him. Be descriptive.

This is The List.

Whenever he pops into your head, read The List. Then say "Fuck off Ian" or whatever his name is.

Repeat.

It works 😉