Hi All, my husband and I have been together for 10 years; we had a wonderful relationship until recently.. my mother died before summer and I haven't processed my emotions well which lead to the last couple of months to not be intimate and passionate with my husband. He has also been working a lot and has some stuff on his mind which caused him to lose interests in everything, including his passion for exercise. He just reached his 40s so may be a sort of midlife crisis, but the main thing is our relationship got stale. He is not very good at communicating and he is an introvert, while I'm a feisty bundle of emotion. I talked to him and suggested to take some time on his own; he didn't want at first, but he agreed and spent about a week at his parents. I asked if he still wanted to communicate during this period and he said yes, however I made clear that I was not to initiate any conversation and I would leave it down to him to text or call when he felt like it. When he came back, it seemed like we were making little progress as we celebrated his birthday, however we had another set back as he wasn't being very engaging so we talked again and he said he needed more time to sort himself out as doesn't know whats wrong with him and that its not me (most likely a lie seeing the status of the relationship). I'm obviously hurt, but I say ok. He kept on saying that he loves me, doesn't want to break up and still has plans for our future (he is looking at possible houses for us to move) and the last night before he left, he was really caring and seemed like my husband again. So day one of round two, he texts during the day (lovable messages, lots of sorry and that we can be ok) and in the evening he lets me know he is on his way to his parents house. Probably stupid on my side, I share an article by email about common errors wives and husbands make in marriages; i tell him I found it a good read and he didn't need to check it out if he didn't want to, that it wasn't an attack as many points didn't even relate to our relationship and that I thought it was a nice read to put us in each other shoes as I think communication is the main reason we are in this situation. He said he would read it and then goes radio silent. During the first week he went away he always called before going to bed and texted, now he didn't which caused me to overthink like crazy that I made a mistake sending the email or that simply he didn't feel like talking to me. I respect this and just go to bed; he then texted in the morning with a normal <hi love, hope you slept well, love you xx> for which I should be happy, just my silly panicking side can't stop playing up scenarios and I also find it hard to reply to his messages as I don't know if I can be myself or be cautious. I've replied with a <hope your day goes well, love you xx.> which I find pretty poor now. I can't ask about him not contacting me last night as its against what we agree and I'm going mental to keep trying to figure out and understand whats going on.
I know I'm being paranoid, I'm also emotionally drained and can barely keep up working without bursting into tears every now and then.. I just want my husband back and our relationship to work again.
Aside from trying to switch off the crazy overthinking button, should I be more lovable when I reply to his text?