Dh has been away for 2 weeks and he came back last night. I felt so stressed yesterday that he was coming back and the house was a bit of a mess and I haven't put up the decorations. Last week we were very short staff so I worked double hours. I have 3 teens and I'd been asking them to help me clear up but it just didn't happen so yesterday I was shouting and realised how stressed I felt. To be honest, it hasn't been easy with him away as my youngest son (14) is very disrespectful to me and I missed his Dad having a bit of authority, plus it was so hard to get the kids to help me out with various jobs he does (washing up, no dishwasher, and walking the dog). I was looking forward to having back and I did my best with clearing up, mopped and tidied a bit. I cleared our drive of snow as it's quite steep but the kids had a snowball fight and it got snow on again.
He finally got to the station at 11.45pm last night and I went to pick him up. I tried to get the car back on the drive but it wouldn't go up. He said he would try but he managed even worse than me so I said let's park on the road (a few metres). He then started trying to clear up the drive! It was midnight! And he'd been awake for more than 24 hours with a long haul flight. I was so angry with him and yelled at him to stop it! I realised later I reacted because he was making me feel like I'd done a bad job. I feel like a constant disappointment to him, and I know my eldest son does too.
I'm so disappointed in him, me, our marriage. I don't want to do Christmas this year. I don't know if I'm depressed because of the marriage or menopause or I'm just a depressive person. Help!