Eye contact

[DallasWinston]

Or are we just happening to be looking at each other the same time by coincidence? See him a few times a week , we are friends and colleagues all fine, but then there is occasionally in passing, this awkward eye meet silence thing going on.

" @GorgeousKitten but to stare at you walking down he hall is deliberate. He wanted to see you seeing him. He looked to see if you were looking at him, too and he wanted to read your reaction to understand from your eyes if you were interested or what. He was also making himself available and open for you to talk and approach him".

Yes, and i cocked it up as i was so nervous, so i made small talk in walking. I cannot seem to stay still around him. I lack confidence. I feel bad for that, i know i have confused him. I just wish i
could be more Madonna! I hope he stay's interested past this xmas holidays . I know what i have to do now.

Basically I saying you're making it into something isn't. He's just a random dude who you haven't even met socially before and who might turn out to be a total wanker and you're sat thinking about what the relevance of him starting at you for 2.3 seconds is. Can't see thats a bit mad? I mean hey, we all get crashes but, shit or get off the pan, you're not a 13 year old. You don't have to play the 'does he like me or not?' game anymore.

@Pinkbonbon bit harsh! I think from reading threads like this, there are the cautious romantic dreamers like me and op who enjoy the what ifs and does he doesn't he stage, the butterflies the nerves.. and then there are people who are very direct and matter of a fact when they like someone they just go for it and I wish I were like this group. It doesn't mean the way we approach relationships and flirting is mad. Some of us are just gentler, more old fashioned or timid. 💁

Oh I absolutely get being a dreamer, I'm just saying building up something like this in the workplace is risky business. If you're OK with dating in the workplace and you like him then just go for it ASAP and treat it as something light an fun. Don't develop an obsession or get into something intense.

A chat over a drink to see if there could be something there is healthier than a 6 month obsessive crush culminating in him turning out to be in a relationship/totally uninterested/a bastard all this time. And then you're all gutted and its hard to be around him. When you could have just skipped all that if you found it out early on over a coffee.

I married a colleague. He said the first time he realised that I might be interested in him was when I held his gaze a little too long at a work social event.

@Pinkbonbon we are friends, we are colleagues. We have spent a huge amount of time together, talking. There is a connection. Of that i have no doubt. Yes, he may be a total wanker, like all my other
boyfriends in the past, gorgeous wankers , that is what is holding me back. I suspect he may he. He just has that wanker thing about him.

@GorgeousKitten yes, timid, is a good way to describe me. I am very cautious now to protect myself. I am also of the mind that he should chase. I am worth it. Let him chase , if it survives the silence over xmas holidays, i am a prize worth having .

This is reading like a teenage diary.

If you're such a prize worth having, maybe make the first move, such self confidence that you obviously have, should be easy. All your gorgeous wanker exes....uh huh that ended well i assume.....also how does your collegue have a wanker thing about him?

He doesn't. I guess I have been reevaluating my ability to choose good men. He is a nice guy, that said I am only friends with him at this stage and only know him superficially.

I am confident in myself in that i have spent years learning my self worth. Past relationships have been unsuccessful as i have chosen poorly, mainly because i did not have confidence or self worth in myself. I did not have the standards that others did, i do now. It has been a long learning process. I have a good job, financially secure and my own home. I am a happy outgoing independent person and my life is uncomplicated,in that respect i think yes, i am a catch. I suppose what i am saying is , i would like him to make any first move. I know i have to be more obvious now but equally i will not make myself look desperate or hand myself on a plate. I am still trying to find that balance.