My ex partner won't let me go

[sophie245]

Evening Everyone,

I was hoping I could get some advice on how to manage my situation. I'm only 22 and my parents aren't very supportive so I don't really have anyone to turn to here.

I have 2 young children with my ex partner and we split rather recently. He keeps telling me that he will not move on and that I'm his soulmate, that is life is only worth it for me and the kids. He's constantly calling, visiting us daily, ignores my boundaries despite us having numerous conversations about what he's doing. Some days I miss the family unit we had but other days I feel like I'm being suffocated.

He's constantly demanding me to help support him through the breakup and tells me I'm a bad person if I push him away.

He's very emotionally manipulative but he was my best friend growing up, I care a lot about him and I'm finding it really hard to navigate this situation. I'm worried if I push him away too far he may do something stupid or the kids will be negatively impacted.

I lost someone very close to me to suicide about 6 years ago so I feel like this is adding to me being a doormat to him as that fear is so real for me.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I don't really have anyone to turn to in my real life.

Thanks x

Op you really have to decide if you are together or not. If not, it’s not up to you to support and help, he needs to finds this elsewhere, likewise if he doesn’t want to live, you can’t make him. His choice as an adult.

you need to stop with responding to him, create some space, come off social media or delete /pause him for a while.

do you still live together? Do you have physical boundaries? Does he have a key to your home? Can you change any of that?

tell him to not come round and don’t answer the door.

while you are responding to him, seeing him etc he will keep up the behaviour as it is working….

you have to make the change and hold firm while he struggles with things being different. Good luck

Can I just add to the advice above in that I would contact someone in his family and let them know his current state of mind… I really don’t like the ‘his choice as an adult’ as he may just need some support there, it’s a double edge sword as I understand you do care for him but caring for him right now is not the right time as it will just prolong the break up and him coming to terms with it.

You can care from afar while others help him through the break up so make others aware he might need some support.

Hope things get better for you soon too and remember you’ve come to this decision for a reason (or many) so get support for yourself too just because you initiated the break up doesn’t mean it’s pain free.