After several years of non contact due to my abusive mother and her flying monkey supporters, my family contacted me a few months ago as a family member was ill. They chose to gatekeep this family member, not allowing me to see them or attend the funeral when it came. They would simply ignore me until the events were over.
My mother has now been diagnosed with ‘advanced cancer’. As I didn’t respond to a phone call immediately as I was at work, I was told that ‘x has advanced cancer and I have nothing more to say to you’. That was the totality of the call.
The abuse I took from my family as a child was significant and going no contact was due to the attempt to continue bullying me as an adult. I was so happy without them and this recent behaviour has just solidified that I was right in my previous actions. I’m really concerned that this cancer diagnosis is just going to amp up their shitty behaviour. Is it awful of me to say that I simply don’t care? I’m sorry that someone is going through awful news and that they will likely have months of treatment but it won’t affect my life and after their behaviour during my other family member’s illness, I now completely lack any compassion as I feel that they used it simply as a way of forcing contact. The main person I speak to refuses to acknowledge their, or anyone else’s behaviour, and has said that they refuse responsibility for anything bad, only good things. What do I do? I dislike the Eastender’s ‘but they’re fammmmmiiiillllyyyyyyy’ justification for keeping in contact but their behaviour is already making me really unhappy.