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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Frazzled

9 replies

Frazzled678 · 10/12/2022 20:09

Hosted my DDs birthday party today - cue 13 children at home with an entertainer. I am exhausted which is to be expected but I’m also so tired of DH.
He held a virtual work meeting during the party today and The voiceover and laptop going on in the background the entire time. My best friend was there and helped and my DH would profess to the highest hills that hr did so much but Joe could he when he was also working. After, he disappears off to finish work call then this evening doesn’t even suggest getting dinner in but instead runs himself a bath, gets in, comes out and begins to watch football. All the while, I have tidied the entire house and had to go out to the shop to buy food and milk this evening. Then if I dare mention that he is lying down AGAIN, I am a bitch.
Apologies for the rant!

OP posts:

ConnieTucker · 10/12/2022 20:11

Does he call you a bitch?

EllaPaella · 10/12/2022 20:12

Yeah he sounds like a selfish knob

Original poster

Frazzled678 · 10/12/2022 20:26

Not directly but will say things like I hate when you say that - and bang cupboards etc. Will also make out that he’s run off his feet when he had just had a relaxing soak in the bath!!

OP posts:

AttilaTheMeerkat · 10/12/2022 20:35

And you are with him at all because…

Wpuld you want your daughter as an adult to be with such a man in her own relationship?
Why are you teaching her this treatment of you is acceptable to you on some level?

Original poster

Frazzled678 · 10/12/2022 20:38

Thanks for some perspective everyone. It’s hard to see straight when you have someone making out that you are the difficult one!!

OP posts:

Rose3334 · 11/12/2022 09:28

I don’t see what the big issue is here. He had a bath and watched the football after working? Couldn’t you have simply asked him to pop to the shops?

Original poster

Frazzled678 · 11/12/2022 09:34

I did ask him to go to the shops as we had run out of milk late afternoon. This morning, I get up with the children, do breakfast, laundry - he lies in bed until now and is currently lying on the sofa again!

OP posts:

MoonbeamsGlittering · 11/12/2022 09:36

Does he always do much less than his fair share? I don't understand how some people can dump so much onto their partners without feeling guilty about it.

Watchkeys · 11/12/2022 14:50

Frazzled678 · 10/12/2022 20:38

Thanks for some perspective everyone. It’s hard to see straight when you have someone making out that you are the difficult one!!

You're the one who gets to decide who and what you are. Nobody else.

So, tell us: Do you think you're the difficult one?

If not, why are you respecting his opposite view? Would you find it difficult to see straight if he told you you had green skin and 6 legs? No, because you know that's not true. The fact that you believe that you might be difficult is the problem in the way you're dealing with this. If you can get hold of the fact that by making out you're the difficult one, he's actually making a bit of a prat of himself, you'll find it easier to deal with, and you'll deal with it differently.

In short, when he makes out you're being difficult, he's talking codswallop.

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