Don't know what to do.....

[Winterwonder112]

I've been finding it really hard recently. I'm currently awaiting an autism appointment for myself and I've been feeling so overwhelmed. Not long ago me and DS had covid and so we stayed at home away from others. Being confined to my home is never good for my MH. This meant I couldn't get my course work done and so I'm behind now. I find my course work difficult anyway.
I've had issues with my home which I've had to wait around at home for people to come inspect again being stuck home alone isnt good for my MH. Then on top of that DS keeps constantly getting ill which triggers my health anxiety. I'm struggling with money like everyone else due to rising costs. I don't have much support from family. DS dad is being hardwork, he was abusive towards me years ago when we were together and still is now. So these are the things that are overwhelming me atm and I feel so hopeless.

I have a DP who I don't live with. We are suppose to be going on holiday together in a few weeks. They have not been supportive, they can be judgemental and can't understand why I get so overwhelmed. Yesterday they mocked me for reading a news article whilst they slept. Said why am I reading that rubbish, it actually takes my mind off stuff. My car broke yesterday too and I'd clearly gotten teary, they just looked at me and carried on cleaning.
I'm hardly ever this overwhelmed but sometimes it's all just too much and I would just like some love and support from my DP.
I don't know if I want to continue this relationship, these are only a few examples however we have this holiday in a few weeks which cost alot of money. So I don't know what to do? Do I go or not go and lose all the money?

Mocked you for reading a news article?
Did you tell them to go fuck themselves OP? How did you react?

I became annoyed and said I can read what I like and I don't know why it concerns you so much especially whilst you are sleeping. I also told them they weren't being nice. And because I didn't take the mocking the blame was then placed on me. They were actually laughing and mocking

It's another abusive relationship. Mocking, ignoring.

As for holiday and losing money. Depends on if the holiday is worth spending it with DP. But I would think of it as a swan song and dump them as soon as you get back.

I mean this as someone who has allowed idiots like this into my life in the past. He's showing you EXACTLY who he is. Actions over words and his actions speak volumes!

He's not meeting your needs at all.

He's actually heightening your anxiety so he really is an awful partner for you.

Get rid and focus on finding yourself (maybe even through counselling as it sounds like you've had a rotten time) and taking care of your child.

Totally agree that you've just fallen into another abusive relationship.

The issue is DS is coming along on the holiday too. The holiday is more for him (going to lapland). However I don't know if I can deal with being with DP much longer.

Why is it always so hard to spot when you're in it yourself but you can it from the outside of others relationships.

DP is pretty different to my ex but I guess they have things in common.

@Winterwonder112 tell me about it. I really wish I'd been here when I was dealing with a couple of these kind of partners. I couldn't see the wood for the trees. I became anxious but didn't realise it was their treatment of me. I turned everything in on myself and found fault with me. I won't let anyone bash me again, I'm hard enough on myself without a second opinion from an idiot!

This is exactly how I feel, I've become more down on myself and feeling like I should be managing but my DP doesn't help because they make me feel that way too. They always have an opinion for everything. They told me in the summer I was a bad parent for not sending my DS to school for 1 day when it was 38 degrees. Instead we sat in a cool cinema. But apparently I'm a bad parent.

Sorry missed your pronouns for your DP - doh!

But you can't allow a partner to undermine you like this. It'll eat away and destroy you even more.

You really do deserve better than this.

Thank you, I feel it is eating away at me.

They know my DS is poorly but hasn't asked about him. Instead I'm being ignored. Not the first time I've had silent treatment ( I know its abusive).

I was ignored all day yesterday and today they have suggest we all go to the cinema. It makes me so mad

I would detach emotionally now from your DP. As PP said, go on holiday and treat it as a swan song. Once you have come to the point where you don’t give a shit whether DP ignores, mocks or gives positive attention, you will be able to focus on your DS easily then calmly dump DP.

Push him into an ice hole in Lapland.

😄 this did make me chuckle

I feel I have slowly been detaching since summer. Can't wait until this holiday is over

I recall a watershed moment when I “argued “ with my xDP on the phone in a scenario where ordinarily I would have expected him to ignore me afterwards, and I realised I didn’t care

Don't go on the holiday if you don't want.

I had one like this who acted as if it was wrong of me to read books about serious things sometimes (at the time I realized I had some dyspraxia so it maybe lines up with your OP in that respect slightly, too.)

The reason he didn't like me reading books or being interested in subjects is he just thought of our relationship mostly in sexual terms, even though I was supposedly living with him. So me reading didn't fit into that role and spoiled his buzz. One time I was reading about something else and he said 'you don't have to be here to do that.' As far as I knew, I lived there. 😂