Do I message or stay quiet

[NeverLearn12]

Hi all.

Back in October I matched with a guy on bumble and we got chatting etc. he was lovely.
we chatted for a about a week with no date planned. He went a bit hot and coke and we didn’t speak for several days.
In the meantime a guy from my past contacted me and we arranged to go for a drink.
low and behold the other guy messages. We speak a little bit and then I tell him I’m going to go for a drink with the other guy - honesty is the best policy and all that.
he goes mad blacks me etc.

Anyway I went on the date with the other guy and we decided to just be friends.
Fast forward to this week I decided to get back on bumble. I matched with the guy who blocked me.
we start talking and has messaged for 3/4 days and we arranged to go for a drink tonight.he was going to pick me up from mine.
he never showed up. I guess it was a payback for what I did to him.

is what I did that bad that I deserved this?
and also should I message him and say something or just stay quiet?

thanks

No don't message him. He's crackers.

Ignore him, he's not worth your time. X

He got the reaction he wanted by your post.

I agree. I’m glad you dodged a bullet. Just ignore him now.

“He sounds like a fucking psycho. You didn't do a damn thing to him. It's alarming you started talking to him again after his first outburst.”

This. I think you really need to understand why you gave him a second chance when he’d treated you so unreasonably the first time round. You shouldn’t have re-matched with him. You say he was a lovely guy - but anyone can seem lovely at the start and he clearly wasn’t lovely at all. And why on earth did you give him your address?

You sound a bit vulnerable to be doing on-line dating.

He sounds like a weirdo for blocking you in the first place - why would you match with him again.

There are two things to take from this:

1. Don't give a guy your address until you have been on a number of dates with him and feel it's safe. Meet in public places.

1. Honesty is not the best policy in the very early stages of dating. You do not need to tell men you go on dates with who else you are dating - indeed, I think you probably shouldn't. You aren't exclusive and it's not their business. If you have been seeing someone for a while, then you have that chat and decide to be exclusive, but until then, things are fair game.

I'm more concerned that you gave someone you've never met before your address so he could pick you up!!! Hello! Wtf were you thinking? He could be any kind of nutter, and certainly gave some red flags early on to suggest he might be.
Never tell a stranger where you live, that's madness.
Best you can do is ignore and hope he doesn't stalk you. Really, you need to protect yourself better than that.

Oh gosh yes, like many others have said, so many red flags that he reacted like that to you going on a date with someone else when you hadn't even meet and had been talking for such a short time! Please be careful of yourself if your boundaries are so low that you think this was ok enough behaviour from him to give him another chance. It really really wasn't ok!

Why did you match with him again after he got angry and blocked you
and why are you still trying to maintain a conversation with him after he stood you up

just let it go, move on and expect more from the next man

How does anyone know it was a planned revenge attack and not a million other things it could be?

When my current husband asked me out I was honest and said I've just started seeing someone else.
Instead of the usual ignore, silence, or even block I'd get from other males, he responded with : 'good luck, and if it doesn't work out you know where to find me'. I thought that was a nice and a mature way to respond.

Low and behold things with the guy I started dating didn't work out, and now-husband messaged me a month later to see how I was going. The rest is history.

I think blocking was a weird thing to do, like doesn't he wish you happiness? Immature. Move on OP. Focus on someone else.

You did nothing wrong, he’s just another disappointing man with a desperately fragile ego. I wouldn’t have bothered with a date, his little tantrum the first time around would have put me right off.

I wouldn’t bother messaging him - don’t let him take up any more of your time.

This

Come on, OP, what's the point of wasting time - he's more than likely to lie through his teeth or spin you a yarn. Time to move on, he's a time waster so you have the information you need, right?

low and behold the other guy messages. We speak a little bit and then I tell him I’m going to go for a drink with the other guy - honesty is the best policy and all that.

No, honesty isn't the best policy - you gave him information he could do nothing with. So he gets pissed off, arranges to meet and then deliberately lets you down.

Youre inviting trouble by winding someone up and then you scratch your head wondering why he responded that way. And then responding to his Match, why do that?

make your choice about who you see by all means, but don't add a layer of complexity for no reason.

Real life isn't like the movies. Police detectives don't explain the whole plot to criminals before arresting them, no one ever gets an explanation of behaviour from others.

I think you need to give things much more thought. Telling the guy you were meeting another guy for a drink and then later giving him your home address?! Why did you do that? Thirdly, I don't understand why you would want to further dialogue with a guy like this. There's clearly something not quite right about him.

Block delete Move on…… there is a great book of the same title that may be worth a read

He's a weirdo you're lucky he didn't show.