How to navigate

[pinkpixie83]

Hi, a bit of uncharted territory. It's my boyfriends deceased wife's birthday on Sunday, do I say anything? Or wait for him to say anything? I'm expecting him to be a bit emotional and that's understandable, I have no issue. I just want to know how best to be supportive. We aren't talking recent but I'm fully aware grief never goes away and it's an bound to be an important day to him.

We've been together 16 months, but obviously last year it was a very new relationship.

Any words of advice? What I don't want to do is put my foot in it

How long has he been bereaved?

Will be 10 years in January

If you’re not talking then probably best to just send a text and say thinking of you then leave it

@pinkpixie83 I think you should just put it out there that you're supporting him. Just ask if there's anything he'd like to do or if he'd like some space. He'll maybe just want to go and place some flowers somewhere .. you could take him for a coffee after. I don't know. Speak to him. Let him know you understand. You seem lovely, can't be easy xx

I'm not sure she means they aren't talking to each other now I think it might be that she's acknowledging it's not recent?

If he has told you directly that it is her birthday then I would acknowledge it .
if he hasn’t mentioned it to you then I wouldn’t say anything .