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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can a person feel sometimes gay…

3 replies

shasha21 · 09/12/2022 16:53

and sometimes completely straight - with no link to anyone they’ve met/any new attractions/bonds with people. Just at times (for example, a duration of months) feel very strongly attracted to women (as a woman) or men (as a man) and feel certain that they are gay.

Whereas at other times (the same general duration of time) only feel attracted to people of the opposite sex and not feel any attraction to anyone of the same sex? And feel positive that they’re straight, and feel disconnected to the times when they felt sure that they were gay?

The reason I’m confused is because I understand obviously the concept of being attracted to different people. It’s more that these feelings aren’t really connected to specific people, just strong feelings in either direction. Another confusing thing is the lack of link between the two feelings for the person feeling them (for example, feeling like “What was I thinking?? I’m definitely gay.” Or the same about being straight. The switch seems to be flipped with no clear reason why (sometimes … although occasionally will be triggered by an attraction) but often is completely random, and feelings very strong.

Is this just being bisexual? Or is it an entirely different thing altogether?

OP posts:
shasha21 · 10/12/2022 00:18

Bumping!

Posting on behalf of my friend, who is feeling quite frustrated about this. She has ADHD and often gets intensely interested in something and then loses interest fairly quickly. She is basically asking could her sexuality be affected by this I suppose? Like can something like ADHD affect sexuality too?

OP posts:
Opentooffers · 10/12/2022 01:36

I suppose its maybe linked to having times of hyperfocus, but also getting bored and easily distracted as happens with ADHD.
But feeling and being just shows that it's right for them at the time. People are more understanding of this these days, so happily you can be who you want to be, there is no right or wrong in it, it just is, so while a person may feel ponderous an quizzical about it, just be whatever suits at the time, does it matter?

postcardpuffin · 10/12/2022 01:49

Just being bisexual? Doesn’t sound unusual to me!

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