What do you do when you just feel really sad?

[Ijustfeelreallysad]

I feel really sad this afternoon.

I feel sad because I had it confirmed that my second IVF transfer hasn't worked. I knew already it hadn't worked but I guess I just had that hope that the tests were all wrong.

I feel sad that I have to tell DH when he comes home, because he still has some hope even though I have been trying to prep him.

I feel sad that for whatever reason I just can't get pregnant and let my DH be a father. He is a wonderful, kind man who really wants to be dad.

I feel sad because we moved area and made a really good friendship couple. They got pregnant recently (first try god love them); I feel sad that we are going to lose their friendship once they become parents (because, with the best will in the world, that happens).

I feel worried about the future. I worry about being alone and lonely. (I know children are no guarantee against that, but all my friendship circle have such wonderful 'mum fiends' met through their children's schools and activities). I don't think I'll ever have that.

I don't feel I can talk to my friends about it - again - because they won't know what to say. There is nothing for them to say. It sucks. It's crap.

I just keep starting to cry. My heart hurts.

I guess I just feel really sad and I'm wondering what you do when you feel really sad?

I think having read through that again I can see what is hurting the most. I can carry this burden myself. But it's the fact I have to tell DH and feel like I'm letting him down again (I know I am not actually letting him down, this is just how I feel right now). He adores our nephews. I feel so sad that what I tell him, is going to make him sad. It's horrible.

I'm so sorry for you and your dh. I have been in exactly the same position so I do understand what it's like. I had to find another way through it. I had to give myself some hope as I desperately wanted to be a mum. I knew when it was time to give up the fertility treatment for me in my situation. Only you and your dh know what the next step for you is with regards to IVF. I became a mum another way that was right for me at the time. Sit down with your dh and tell him, then try and find a way forward together.

I usually go out into my garden and prune the trees and bushes. Sometimes I chop quite a bit off them depending on the mood. Being outside always lightens my mood and the garden looks tidier afterwards too.

I’m so very sorry.
Your husband will know it might it work, but I can imagine how devastating it is to share that news.
You don’t have to be the strong one though, look after yourself.

What about talking to your friends even though they can't offer a solution to the problem? They can offer understanding, and that's massive.

I write when I'm sad. Whatever I'm thinking/feeling, I get it down on paper. It helps. I hope you find a way to feel better.

When I’m sad I sleep.

im sorry you’re sad OP.

I know what it's like to feel terribly sad. Try and get some rest. Don't worry about everything all at once - just take things one at a time. Tell DH and then try and sleep. Time to deal with other things tomorrow.

I feel for you and have been there, its just so utterly crushing. Dont be hard on yourself. you have to allow time to process and then decide what you want to do next.

Thank you all for your comments. I told DH and he was really lovely about it. I then had a good sleep last night and now I’m watching the football with a wine. Looking forward to a fresh start in the new year.