To be feeling worse this Christmas than last after breakup

[Scotcousin]

He ended our almost five-year relationship in a cold way in the first half of 2021. I was heartbroken for a long time, but surprisingly found last Christmas okay. However, as Christmas approaches this year I'm feeling quite low in myself, thinking about him/ the breakup a lot and even having dreams about it all. I didn't think I'd be like this this year, feeling worse than last. Anyone experience similar?

Be kind to yourself. If you did not want the relationship to end then the process of self repair might take longer. It's not a straight road without any detours. Can you plan something different to do at Christmas? Take care

Stop making him god of your thoughts OP, he was just a mere man and not a very nice one at the end at that.

I'd been doing well, just feel I've regressed a little. I really don't want him in my head!

I think it's normal to feel a bit sentimental and nostalgic at this time of year. It'll pass, and if you've had no contact you'll be glad you didn't contact him. Treat yourself!

I think it’s normal to feel sad about better Christmases that have gone before, and people that are no longer in your life, for whatever reason.
Concentrate on getting Christmas over, and getting into the New Year, think of all the things you are planning and look forward.

So I quite enjoyed Christmas, but am really not feeling great in myself. I have a lingering sadness and at times am having to force myself to do things, even though I could lie in bed all day. It's like I haven't bounced back to my 'normal' self since the breakup, even though I'm much better than I was.

Is it odd that I'm not 100% over everything by now?

It took me a good 2 years to get over the breakup of my 5 year marriage, so no I don't think it's particularly unusual not to be "back to normal" yet.

Are there things you could do to move forward, do you feel? Strengthen friendships? Career progression? Learn something new? New hobby? New year is the perfect time !

That's good to hear. Yes, I'm planning one or two new hobbies for the new year so hopefully that'll help take my mind off him.