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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Worried I've messed up with my family.

2 replies

User3626636244 · 07/12/2022 18:42

I haven't made the effort to see them since about August/September. They live half hour away. My mother lives with my stepdad and my adult siblings who live at home, also I haven't seen my 80 year old grandma in ages and now I'm getting anxious that it's nearly Christmas and they must think I'm an asshole. I'm not a horrible person but my MH hasn't been good. It's been a crappy year and I've felt like hiding myself away, sometimes the thought of socialising makes me incredibly anxious. Some days I'm just surviving.

I have two dc with additional needs, life has been very busy. I've had a lot on my plate, stress levels have been high, the weeks have surprisingly flown by, my sons school transport has had issues so I'm taking him to and from school and getting back to take my daughter on time, it's a push and I am exhausted. Both kids have been very poorly recently but better now. My dh works long days. Sometimes I have not got enough hours in the day. I am also being referred for an adult autism assessment!

Routine is very important in this house for both myself and dc and its become very rigid!

any spare time I have, which is little, I just like to do my own thing. I am a bit of a black sheep of the family at the best of times. Im an introvert in a family of extroverts.

I do feel like sometimes they could make a little bit more effort themselves.

I have had some text and phone calls with them just haven't seen them. I feel like an ass. I can't afford to buy anyone much for Christmas.

am I a terrible daughter/granddaughter/sibling?

OP posts:
User3626636244 · 07/12/2022 18:47

To add, I've probably only see them a few times this whole year. I do find them hard work, they aren't bad people but they are quite exhausting to be around!

OP posts:
Rosie22xx · 07/12/2022 18:48

No it goes both ways. Life definitely gets in the way and I agree routine is very important with kids. You sound super busy and that can't be helped. If you haven't been able to see them recently, they can also put the effort in to see you too. It can't always be you going to them. It should be 50/50. I understand you may be feeling low over this but please don't, its life. If they don't bring it up and you feel you need to see them then maybe offer if they would like to come to yours one day as it will be easier this time with your busy schedule? Let them know you miss them etc.

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