Likelihood this will provoke requests for contact? So anxious

[Nauoop]

My ex is on the outside a professional, decent man. Except he’s an abusive piece of work who has never met his son, now 6 months. In pregnancy he accused me of cheating on him as he couldn’t understand how a condom had failed and said he wouldn’t accept dc was his. I had the baby and that was that.

I now really need some financial help. I’ve paid for everything so far myself. I was absolutely desperate for my ex to be involved leading up to birth but now… I can’t think of anything worse and I want him to stay away.

ive heard that maintenance payments can provoke someone to want to be involved and obviously he will go down the paternity test route with the cms. Whilst I don’t want to stop dc knowing their dad, I’m also quite scared of him being in contact again as he’s such an unpleasant person. I know on balance I have to apply for the money but I guess I’m hoping he might just pay and stay away at least until I am emotionally stronger again?

One thing's certain, you have no control over what a request for maintenance might lead to (apart from, hopefully, money which he should rightfully be paying for his child's upkeep.

Do you still know where he is? Is he local?

Definitely apply for the maintenance. You have no way of knowing what he'll do unfortunately, but it will take time for him to be put on the birth certificate if he requests it then longer for court re. contact.

Even if he does do this, they won't grant a stranger any more than supervised visits and even that won't be much because of the age of the baby.

I know it's easy for people to sat 'try not to worry about it' but anything he does won't be overnight, it will cost him more money and you do not have to engage with him at all. And that's only if he actually bothers.

Congratulations on your baby

Do you live anywhere nearby?

Unless you're going under financially, I'd avoid opening the can of worms.