Feeling sad

[MissBiscuit554]

Im feeling really sad today and don’t know what to do with myself and how to move forward. I’ll try to keep it brief!
Been with current partner 13 years and have 2 DC together. I’m just plodding along really, we’re not married and I can’t say 100% if I want to, I’m just not sure. There’s a few differences at the moment, he’s snappy and a bit of a crank, I get told off regularly for things like leaving the tea bag canister out for example!

Anyway, earlier in the year I met someone at work, he also has a partner and 2 kids and isn’t happy in his relationship. Whilst nothing has happened and nothing will ever happen between us we are attracted to each other. We would message regularly, mainly just friendly chat and I guess from my side I’ve probably built it up too much in my head. It looks like he has a new job and will be leaving but I’m just so sad about the whole thing. Sad that I got myself into this and sad he will be out of my life. It’s all a bit silly really and probably it is for the best as I need to sort myself out and get over him.
Anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice? Thanks

OP I'm sorry you are feeling sad.

It sounds like this friend has been a bit of an emotional bright spot to hold on to.... but beware it sounds like it had become an emotional affair. If this is the case, then it's probably for the best that yes leaving. Perhaps this will give you the nudge you need to refocus on your relationship? Unless there is a big drip feed, it sounds like typical malaise we all feel after many years.

Do you think you can refocus and reinvest in that relationship to give and get more satisfaction from it?

Thank you for replying @BraveGoldie
Yes it was a bit of an emotional bright spot, I’ve literally in the whole 13 years of being with my partner never looked at another man but there was something about him. Half of me wishes I hadn’t met but then I am glad I did. I’m just so sad and hurting that I won’t speak or see him when he leaves.

As for my current relationship, I’ll see if the other man out of the picture makes a difference in how I feel but I just feel this too might have run its course and I’m totally sitting on the fence about it. He’s become quite hard to live with recently, I got shouted at the other day as his hoody hadn’t been washed! I feel so down about everything but I’m sure I’ll pick up soon!

So you did say "if it's that important wash and dry your own hoodie you're a grown man are you not?"

Didn't you?

All this "I got shouted act......" It's a bit wet isn't it? Just turn away and say I am not communicating like this.

@frozendaisy yes I did, and I got a raised voice about how he does other things in the house. Truth is, yes he does a few other things but not much. He has a habit of shouting me down and making me feel like a kid!

Just tell him, "I'm not prepared to be spoken to like this". You're an adult woman, not a child. You're emotionally vulnerable ATM. No wonder your head has been turned.

Yes it’s not on is it, there’s been other comments as well about trivial things which actually just makes you think wtf. I have said on numerous occasions not to speak to me like this but I don’t think it’s heard or taken on board.
The whole thing has left me quite depressed.

You ever thought to think maybe the other guy could be like this too? People who go on to have affairs ect don't live in reality the guy at work that isn't who he is when he gets home. His partner probably deals with the same sort of stuff you never know.

Grass isn't always greener but if you're being tempted by a married man at work you aren't happy in your relationship and should probably end it before something happens and you mess up someone else's life too.

I'm in the other situation of my partner being the guy who's at work flirting with his colleague where he's said he's unhappy to her ect but he doesn't want me to leave. It's just what he's said to the ow to form a closer bond.

She sees the charming and funny side to him but doesn't know he comes home and treats me horribly.