Can’t get over heartbreak

[Rochellebee]

Happy relationship stories after huge heartbreak needed or some reassurance . It’s been a year since I broke up with very toxic person (we were together only 9 months and he was controlling - checking my phone etc.), but I keep missing him. No way I would ever go back, but I have this feeling that I will never find same connection. I’m very socially awkward and barely ever click with someone (never prior and I’m in my mid 30s). I just feel like I thrive in relationship but it seems like I’ll never find it - I’m even considering going back because it might be better to give him little control over being so lonely - I don’t think I do that, but i do have those feelings. I accepted these feelings for a while, but I would think that year on I will be over him (I’ve been on three online dates last 2 months, but I didn’t feel anything). Any advice how to get over it? Can I ever feel the same/similar love and being comfortable in relationship ?

I trick that worked for me was doing some screen shots of his very toxic messages where he was being super rude, would gaslight me or lie. I have like 5 screen shots of those. Whenever I felt a pang of “I miss him” I would go to my phone, read them again and be reminded of the horrible person he is. It did the trick for me.