Single dating advice

[user1469632052]

Hi so just wondering if anyone in a similar position has any advice?
I'm a single mum to twin 4 year olds.
I've been mostly single since splitting with my ex husband 3 and a half years ago. I'm now thinking about dating but is proving impossible!
I have my girls 6 days a week, they are at nursery 15 hours a week and at their dad's 1 day a week. Before kids I worked as a care manager now I work 1/2 shifts a week as a casual support worker when they are at their Dad's/nursery.
The only way I get to meet people is online dating... I don't go out anymore really as have my girls and work when I don't have them...either late shift finishing 10pm or early shift staring 0730am and finishing 3pm then they come back at 4pm.
I have some free time when they are at nursery but this is obviously during the day when majority of people are at work.
I dated someone for 3 months last year that I met online but fizzled out as we never got chance to see each other... he worked full time and was a single parent too so times we were both free was once every couple of weeks or so with me working lates, then even when I had the odd evening free he sometimes had his kids.
Whenever I chat to anyone online and talk about meeting up they inevitably get the impression I'm not interested as I have so little free time... I'm also for obvious reasons absolutely not going to invite strange men to my house when my kids are in bed even if they ask!
I feel like I'm going to be single forever at this rate! I love spending time with my girls but would like something for me... I already have no social life due to being a single parent I don't want to be single forever too!
Has anyone in a similar position got any advice on dating?
I have no one to babysit my children in the evening either... my parents have moved over an hour away and all my friends (that I rarely see these days) dont know my children well enough to babysit and have their own families to look after.
My ex has a girlfriend but this doesn't bother me (I split with him and have no interest in getting back together)... it doenst bother me he's with someone just seems a little unfair he has 6 days a week to date and I have 1 day when I sometimes work! Him having the girls more time wouldn't work either as he has no interest in having them for more time whatsoever, he sometimes cancels the 1 day a week he does have and doesn't have any contact with them when he doesn't have them (his choice)... he's too busy living his own life.
Any advice? Thanks.

No advice op, but just to say I’m the same only my kids dad is not involved at all so not time off at all, I’ve been single for 6 years I don’t think I will get the chance to date again I feel quite lonely and not sure I will ever meet anyone now! It’s very difficult unless you have a big network of support (I don’t have anyone to have my children including family) you could potentially pay for babysitters?

Does your kids dad has them overnight ? My sister is single mum and had exactly this issue . Dad had her son only one day a week - Saturday (she worked + few days when in nursery) and then she managed to talk dad into taking the son on Friday evening till Saturday so she had every Friday evening (potentially night) to date. Worked great for her. When she found the one they were spending Friday evening and nights together and after few months he would start staying until Sunday and met the child…

Do you know any other mums in a similar situation that you could time swap with? As in you take their cherubs for an evening and they return the favour? May give you time to figure out if your choices are going somewhere or not. If you can sustain a regular meet-up with someone and you make a connection then you have the possibility to eventually introduce them into your routine.

There's lots of normal men out there who aren't looking to just Netflix and chill your pants off, at least not in the first dates!

Others will disagree but one tip from me is to arrange zoom calls with matches. I got fed up of arranging childcare, and getting dressed up only to arrive and the date looks different to pics, or the spark wasn't there. I'm off Bumble now, but never had anyone decline and you can definitely tell over zoom if you'll fancy them. Doesn't solve the childcare problem if you do like them, but saves a lot of faff.

Well dad should step up more but you can’t force him to parent. Incredibly frustrating. I hear you as I have been single for over 10yrs since my ex and I split up as he has been working overseas and we did used to see a lot of each other still as he always called in on way from train station as he left his car on my drive. So I didn’t want to rock the boat as we were able to give our kids many family holidays still as we co-parented well and started out as friends so it wasn’t hard to transition back (taking aside the anger I felt with him). Anyway he’s been away a few years now and the kids have grown up, they don’t need babysitters anymore. I’ve recently started dating someone and I’m loving it!! Only issue is he has his kids 100% of the time! Couldn’t make it up.

What about asking one of the nursery staff if they will babysit for you? I know it’s costly but once you know the person well enough you might be more comfortable with them coming over when kids are in bed or you could meet him for lunch. Give it a try, life is too short, I have said for years I’m happier single etc but now I’ve realised I really would like to be in a relationship. The guy I’m dating is an ex-colleague so makes it easier with knowing him already