My DP and I have been together just over a year. He has a group of friends that he has known since school. They are all in their early 30s but they seem to have the mentality of teenagers. My DP rarely sees them and turns down invitations to their dinners and nights out. He says they bore him because they only talk about money or women.
At the weekend we went for dinner with his parents and he got a message from their group chat. It was a picture but I didn’t see what. He hid the phone very quickly.
On the way home he said that the friends had sent him a stupid picture that he didn’t want his parents seeing. I asked what it was and he said ‘just a stupid picture.’
I asked if it was a rude picture and he said yes. Was it a woman? He said yes again but when I didn’t reply, he said it wasn’t. He then said it was a photo of his friend’s arse. I asked to see it and he said he’d deleted it.
I asked why he’d lied about it being a photo of a woman and he said it was a joke to see my reaction. This upset me because he knows I don’t like things like this. I am very anti porn and things like that. I already disliked this group chat anyway because I’ve seen the display photo and it’s of a woman in a bikini with huge boobs. Not very good especially as on first glance it looked like he was speaking to another woman. Also quite misogynistic.
I still don’t know what the photo was. He has completely wiped it from the phone and has left the group chat, even though he says he’s sure they’ll try to add him again.
I have an issue with him lying because I don’t understand why he wasn’t honest with me. He may have thought I would be upset (if it was a porn type photo) but at least then I’d know what it was. I’m sure it wasn’t what he said because he’s shown me stupid photos they’ve sent him of someone showing their arse before.
I have never met these friends because my DP doesn’t even act like they’re important to him. I still feel unsettled about this as we’d had a nice evening with his parents and this soured it a little. I am also worried that he can’t be honest with me about something so small. He completely shut down about it after a while and said I made a big deal over nothing and it wasn’t his fault that they sent him a photo. He thinks that I don’t trust him. It’s just that honesty is very important to me because I was cheated on in a previous relationship and I care a lot about this man and all I wanted was the truth.
Thank you for reading. I am feeling a bit down about it tonight and I know I should forget about it but I wonder if why some men have to act like immature teenagers.