Why do I still think of him? He mentally abused me

[bereadywhencurtainfalls]

My ex and I broke up 3 years ago.
He was a narcissist-the things he put me through you wouldn't believe
He broke my heart
Thought I would always be obsessed with him.

I'm in a relationship and have been for two years and I'm honestly happy.
We live together and I couldn't imagine my life without him.
Then I see my ex on Facebook (mutual fb friends ) so when I see him commenting on things or tagging people in status posts I see his picture.
Him and his new wife all smiley
I just get that sinking feeling
How can you treat her like that when you put me and others through so much crap.
The thought why not me?
It creeps in
I do not want him that's not it
It's the feeling of why?how can you change so much
Was it me?
But then I don't think it was cos me and boyfriend are happy.
We live together and have little arguments but never anything as toxic
Why do I feel like this?
I wish in a way he had just blocked me so I wouldn't see
If i block him now it's like i am admitting to myself he still gets under my skin

Anyone ?

Sorry I didn't want to read and run, I don't do Facebook but is there a way you can mute him?
He will also know that you've moved on so don't worry what he may think of you now.
His picture doesn't tell the whole story, this is him wanting people to see him moved on and happy but you know what he's really like. Just be glad he's the past.

I think you should block him.

Smiley pictures on fb mean nothing. Leopards do not change their spots, they just disguise them for a whole. It wasn't just you he treated like crap afterall - you know he was like that with others too.

Just block. It's clear he 'gets under your skin' so just do it. Think of it as a cleansing ritual. It's like giving up smoking, but keeping a pack to prove to yourself you're strong enough to not smoke. Instead it's just a reminder that triggers the addiction every time you see it.

The why will always sit in the back of your mind, but don't let it get to you, know your worth you clearly have a man who is willing to treat you the way you should be and your happy with him, a picture does not tell everything you don't know hes not treating her the same pictures can be false you know what he was like so keep that thought and be happy with your new partner and not dwell on the past

As someone else has already said, photos on Facebook and social media mean nothing. You've got no idea what's going on behind closed doors.
He mentally abused you, so it's NOT you. Just hope that his new wife isn't being treated in the same way.
I also agree that you should block him on FB...out of sight out of mind. He will always be there in your sub-conscious because he was a big part of your life once upon a time. At least if you don't see him on FB, he won't be there staring you in the face.

It is definitely not you. Don't believe everything you see in photos. If he treated his exes badly, he won't suddenly treat his wife any better. Perhaps his wife is more tolerant to his BS. Thank your lucky stars you are no longer with him and found better and that you valued yourself enough to walk away.

He just seems like a new person with her and she seems happy.
It's a shame he put me through hell.
He was malicious and cruel so maybe it's not possible to totally change

I could have written this myself. Some days I know I'm happier and better off but others I can't help but overthink everything. Time will tell I suppose but my ex repeated his behaviour time and time again and I thought he'd be different with me but 16 years and 2 daughters later and he wasn't at all.

I hope you feel stronger soon. Maybe blocking is the best bet.

the things he put me through you wouldn't believe

And yet, for a period of time, despite the hell he 'put you through', you chose to stay with him. And that's what you're doing now. Your thoughts are staying with him, despite everything. You still haven't fully left the relationship.

So, what you need to figure out is: What is it doing for you, the 'staying' that you are still doing? What do you get from it? Because once you figure that out, you'll be able to figure out how to give that to yourself, without his help, or how to not need it anymore. But until you know what it's doing for you, you won't be able to work out how to give it up.

What you have is an addiction. It's as simple as that. You could walk away now, block him on everything, and refuse to let him into your mind, but you don't, and that's 100% your own responsibility. What is it that makes it impossible to walk away? Are you waiting for confirmation that he's horrible, via some social media post about how they've split up? What is it you would most like to see/know/hear about him? Or from him?