How to stop being snappy and irritable with partner

[Bearblue26]

DP and I have been together 2 years and lived together 6 months. We are living in a small flat and we have had a puppy for a month now. I find that things are getting on top of me - work is busy, the flat feels too small for us all, I’m tired, housework is falling behind. So I suppose my fuse is a bit shorter than usual and I am easily irritable.

Tonight DP was speaking about a repair that needs to be done (which he has spoken about almost daily for 2 weeks) and I snapped saying we’ve discussed how to fix it.

Following this he told me he is very unhappy with the way I’ve been speaking to him the last 4 weeks. I immediately apologised and explained I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings but that I felt he was expecting me to have dealt with the repair and was nagging at me.

He has identified it’s the last 4 weeks so I gave the above reasons for me being a bit more irritable than usual but he said it’s not an excuse.

At times I feel he is over sensitive however I do acknowledge that I need to work on my irritability and don’t want to be snapping at him.

Does anyone have any advice please?

Why would you get a puppy if you live in a small flat? No wonder you are stressed out. Poor puppy too.

You need to apologise again for being snappy and have a grown up conversation about division of labour (make sure you are both pulling your weight) so the flat doesn't descend into squalor and also discuss whether having a puppy is working for you.

When I say small flat it’s a 3 bedroom flat with a private garden however it is smaller than the house I moved out of to move in with DP. The puppy is perfectly healthy and happy

Sounds like you both could be a bit more considerate of each other. He's nagging and you're snappy.

You've acknowledged his point of view, apologised and considered how to work on things from your side, has he done the same?

Pretend he is someone you like and respond how you would respond to them. I find this really works when talking to my mum!

'Pretend he is someone you like and respond how you would respond to them. I find this really works when talking to my mum!'

That sounds simple, but what a brilliant idea. Will be trying this out when I visit my family this week!

OP, I get a bit snappy when things get on top of me as well. I find my mind is often preoccupied with a million different things and when DP speaks to me, it's like he's interrupting my thoughts and giving me yet another thing to think about! I am working hard at making sure I'm 'back in the room' and giving him my full attention when he speaks to me. And if you're feeling overwhelmed at the moment, then share that with him. I'm terrible for bottling stuff up and not sharing how I'm feeling, which is not helpful because it means DP doesn't know where I am emotionally