I’m a mom of triplets who have recently started school and my partner works almost 24/7.
ive practically raised our kids by myself. He is more involved now as we do ‘days out’ together and he provides financially etc but in terms of raising, looking after and everything that comes with being a parent I have done it all alone.
my issue is that I’ve always been lonely for the last 4 years but I feel really lonely lately. I don’t have ANY friends. My days are spent solely with my kids (who are now going to full time school which is a big change for me as they’ve never left me before now). My partner has spent more time with me recently for example, watching movies together in the evening sometimes and have gone out together during the day when the kids are at school.
Hes Not overly sociable but he’s formed quite a few friendships with his clients, had quite a few experiences with them going places etc and having ‘fun’ and was telling me he has a dinner booked with one of his client friends in a few weeks. He asked me if I wanted to go which is lovely but it made me realise even more how lonely I am and he’s my only ‘friend’. Which is embarrassing as we honestly don’t even do much together like friends would anyway.
I am self employed trying to run my own business and work from home as it’s really the only viable option for me that works around the kids as the responsibility falls on me. That also means I don’t really have the chance to meet many people, interact with colleagues or have any work friends.
my partner come home this evening (with lots of gifts and food he’s received from clients) and told me ‘you don’t like being a mom do you? You see everyone else doing all these fun things on social media and you feel like rubbish? When really you should be happy you get to spend the time with the kids while they’re young and you should be smiling’.
this has really upset me because I don’t do anything for myself, my life is purely doing everything to make my kids happy and my joy and happiness comes from seeing them happy and doing things they like. I genuinely LOVE being a mom and even when they’re at school I get so lonely and miss them so much.
however, that doesn’t mean that I will be smiling 24/7. It’s 8pm at night I’ve had a busy weekend with the kids (one of whom has had tantrums the whole weekend) and I wasn’t in a bad mood but him making a comment telling me I should be ‘smiling’ has annoyed me. That’s easy for him to say as he’s been out talking with adults all day, having a laugh with clients and receiving gifts. The only adult I talk to is him, when he’s home!
im mostly upset that he’s my only friend and should support me emotionally yet his comments have upset me more. I don’t want to be a burden on his life because I’m relying on him to be my only friend.
equally I don’t even know how to make friends? It should be a natural occurance through work etc not something I can go out and search for. I go to the gym now during the day but even then no one tries to be my friend