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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

What now??? Feel so deflated

5 replies

Bluemoon22 · 04/12/2022 16:26

So after 3 months its all over. The police have done their investigation and closed the case. Ex partner only getting a caution for the physical assault. Even though i have good evidence for the sexual assault/rape the police have dropped it because they don't think it will get a conviction in court. So my abuser is now able to contact me which he has done already today regarding access about our son. I feel so anxious right now and that he's just allowed to get away with it all is a joke. I don't want to see him at all when handing my son over but don't have anyone to be the go between as mu dad is now refusing to have anything to do with talking go my ex or being the go between for contact as he's had 3 months of it and is fed up of it. My son doesn't even want to see his dad and i want to stop contact so bad yet terrified of him taking me to court. Why do abusers get to live their life while i'm still suffering

OP posts:

Tolatetotheparty · 04/12/2022 16:54

Get in contact with Rape Crisis. They will help you

Farmageddon · 04/12/2022 17:03

I'm sorry OP, that's horrible, you must feel so let down. Did you have a liaison officer from the police or anything?
Do you have anyone who can go with you for the first few handovers of your son, a friend or anything as your dad won't do it. Just ignore your ex as much as possible, and keep note of any interactions you have. If he threatens you in any way, write down the date and time and keep a record.
Just keep focusing on trying to heal and getting the support you need. As the previous poster said, please call rape crisis, they can give you more advice.

Zanatdy · 04/12/2022 18:09

I’m so sorry OP. That’s just awful, no wonder women don’t report sexual assaults and rape. The system is a let down

Original poster

Bluemoon22 · 04/12/2022 18:13

What support do rape crisis offer? I'm going to suggest any contact has to be via whatsapp only then its all logged but i don't even want to do that. I could see if a friend would be able to do handover with me but its unlikely

OP posts:

Notimeforaname · 04/12/2022 18:16

Even though i have good evidence for the sexual assault/rape the police have dropped it because they don't think it will get a conviction in court.

Im so sorry op.
Same happened to me. I had txts from him admitting to raping me and apologising but police said "not enough evidence" because he told them in person that's the txts weren't true. So his word against mine. Case closed.

I'm sorry this has happened to you but you can and will go on. Get all the help you can and try to keep your chin up as high as possible. I'm sorry again 💐

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