Hi all i would just like some advice as Ive come to a point where its a nightmare .
I am a self employed mum with four children two that have moved out as they are in there mid twenties and two teenage boys one that has adhd and a very hard child and a autistic child high functioning . Ive been married 15 year now and its all just getting on top of me, i do everything from run my job to do all the shopping to take sort out all the appointments plus dealing with anything that comes along o and doing up a house ie knock walls off , tile and this is by myself not the builders, also try and find tidy builders that don't mess it up all the time Aswell as any cars that need taking to the garages for mots . i am also dealing with the garage that has supposed to put a new engine only for it to go wrong two more times i then have to get on the phone and deal with it . take an example i asked him moths ago to sort the morage out when we could have had it fixed for 2.5% fixed and he never done it , when i do leave things to him it ether dose not get done or it costs a fortune .as when i ask my husband for us to do the house together he just says he works so he can pay someone to do it. when we bought this old farm he said we would do it together and its so expencive geting peolpe in all the time. we could do some jobs together what happens is he turns his work computer off and turns the telly on and we dont get anything done . At this point in time ive been trying to do my accounts plus my work plus tile do all the clothes washing deal with a company that sent a bath that dose not work trips to vets pick children up everyday but they did finaliy send me a new one, so now the old one is still on the drive. Nothing gets done unless i nag or we argue which i should not have to do he should know what needs doing, we only do anything as a family if i arrange it then it becomes a debate and argument as my husband dose not want to go out or do anything, as my husband just wants to sit down after work .
I really feel like we are missing out on so much as a family as i see everyone eles making memories and us just exsising and not enjoying life as a family not that i want to be like others i just want us to have done things so we can look back and say do you remember tat when mum and dad did this and that or things together . so why this all started was because i said about sitting down to work out his leave with the children's school holidays so we can have days out together . i don't want to be the one that is always the one doing and arranging the things for the children on my own we are supposed to be a family not just live in the same house. so all in all he says he's leaving now as i want use to have all are dates together and not just in one or two lumps in a year as i want to do things as a family.