I need some outside perspectives please. I have a lingering doubt that my marriage is over but I don’t know if sleep deprivation/ no breaks from the treadmill of life is clouding my judgement.
Married 5 years. 3 children under 3 including a 3 month old baby.
Reasons I think its over:
No affection. Ever. There’s always a child in our bed but more than that, no hand holding, kissing etc. We last had sex in May…
DH doesn’t like spending time with the baby. I do every single night on my own. Even when I asked for help in the early days, he would wake up and then fall asleep within minutes.
He has signed up to do the marathon next year, and is already training 3 x a week. So despite an exhausting time with children during the day/ baby at night, he’s out again.
He has agreed to a new job which will mean he’s away at least one night a week. Again, leaving me with all 3 children. When not on mat leave we have equal salaries yet I’ll be doing the majority of the drop offs/ pick ups.
Now to the thing that has pushed me over the edge today. I spent 6 hours in a&e with the baby last night, and got home at 2am. DH is due to go to a bday party this afternoon (and stay away). My mum can no longer come and help over night. I hoped DH would change his plans but no. He is leaving at 3pm. He has nights out/ away over the next 2 weeks (xmas parties).
Am I being ridiculous? On the plus side, he is a good dad to our other 2 children and has supported us through some very very difficult times together (the death of our eldest child).
Would appreciate objective views….the thought of getting divorced/ moving/ leading my DC into a life of swapping houses at weekends etc seems so selfish but I hate the person I married right now.