Lying

[happytimesahead22]

So I wanted some perspective please - a lie is a lie in my book but I get other people might see grey around it and reasons.

I’ve found out my DH has been involved in something at work which has come to attention of those you wouldn’t want it to in relation to being unprofessional and social media. I’ve then done my research and seen its many photos of a few others in very unprofessional ways at work but also includes quite a few of him. DH was following this account, had liked a few photos, took photos for it himself of the person running it and sent it to their account and had his personal account tagged in one photo.

He works in a very risky job - scenario - someone sees his personal account tagged, they have his full name. They can then find his other social media and find a photo of our child which is not private.

He found out people knew earlier this week but said nothing to me. When I’ve asked him, all he’s told me is there were 3 photos and listed 3 which were tamer and said nothing was wrong with anything posted of these but I know there were others, not so professional and his other activity. He tells me he only followed it but has unfollowed now and when I’ve asked did you have any other interaction etc, he’s not admitted to the above that I know 100%.

He could lose his job over things like this or at least have a serious warning. Lying and putting my child at risk is just not something I can take very well.

Where do I go now/handle this? Thank you

To add that any involvement, even if you’re not running the account and not reporting it is a very bad idea

It's difficult to comment unless you know what was going on online. Is it something illegal or something that is an unpopular opinion?

This is so vague and waffly, I really have no idea what you're on about. Sorry.

Try and be a bit more specific and you might get some better advice.

Is he following a teenager's account? Porn account? Fans Only through his work account?

How is this putting your child at risk?

Fans only 😂

Difficult to know without knowing the content.

For some reason I was imagining drunk nudity hyjinx pics. Someone getting teabagged. Mark fae accounts with 'Bawbag' written on his forehead xD

But....drugs maybe?

Drugs? Gambling? Dog fights?

Probation worker? Prison guard?

It really is too vague to know enough to comment tbh.

I would assume it's a site where people swap or upload photos of themselves naked/wanking at work?

As above, far too vague. It could be anything and I cant give an option as I dont know what's happened..

Opinion *

I don't see how his photos link to your child's safety unless it's some kind of account for paedophiles?

I gave up trying to understand the context sorry. It’s incoherent to read when I don’t know what on earth you’re referring to.

So, you feel your child could of been put at risk - if you post pics of your DC on SM, you have to accept the possibility that others could see them - but, in perspective, someone will see a pic of a random child, so what?
However, as he's shown himself to be slack at best with SM, you could have your privacy set to 'friends only' as I have always done (why wouldn't anyone?) Then you could unfriend him, so he no longer has access to your pics.
Sounds like a heard mentality " it's all a big joke" situation with no thought to consequence, despite taking pics without people's consent - in which case, they deserve what's coming for both being highly dumb, breaking rules &violating others privacy for their own "fun". Just a bit yuk really.
The fun's over when you get caught- then embarrassment hits, so minimise and lie so they don't look so bad.

If there’s a photo of your child on social media that isn’t set to private, that’s the issue, if you don’t like the idea of strangers seeing photos of your child. Somebody happening upon it because they saw your DH’s social media profile or somebody happening upon it through some other way makes no difference.

Some “lies” people tell because they know the alternative is getting grief from their partner over something which doesn’t deserve grief, for example. It’s hard to know whether this falls into that category without the context or exact situation, it makes a huge difference in establishing who’s the unreasonable one. If DH interrogated me about legal content which I had posted on a legal website and was calling it “lying” not to tell him every single detail of my perfectly legal online actions, I’d feel pretty harangued tbh.

I feel like you posted this before, but it was in your post as part of a much bigger problem in your relationship?

I got from this he's a police officer or similar, liking photos that would compromise his job and standing in the community. And also link to your child's details. If I'm right or right-ish then you are not wrong at all.

@Thingsdogetbetter

Really ? Honestly ? 😱
I gotta say, I'd never in a million years have thought of that as the reason ! 😬

God that's grim ...

A lie is a lie, in your book.

So, what? He lied. So other people's grey areas don't really matter, do they, unless you want other people's opinions to run your relationship?

What's the consequence for lying? For you? Do you distance yourself from the person? Lose respect for them? Cut them out of your life?