Am I being stood up?

[Plantmom]

Been chatting to a guy from OLD for a couple of weeks, and we have been on one date last weekend. Early days of course, but the date went well and we seemed to be getting along well.

We had another date planned for today to go to a national park and for a meal, suggested by him on Monday. I had a half day at work so we agreed to meet up in the afternoon, he said he’d be in touch about timings. He was quite vocal about how much he was looking forward to seeing me etc.

We usually exchange a few messages throughout the day but he’s been a lot quieter today with short replies and seems a bit ‘off’. It’s now 1pm and he hasn’t replied to me since early this morning.

should I assume today is off, and leave it? Feel a bit disappointed, and wondering why he couldn’t have just cancelled if he didn’t feel like it anymore. I only get one half day each week, so would have planned something else if he’d cancelled.

That's quite off, he's wasting your time off isn't he? I wouldn't be impressed OP.

Id plan something else

Could he be busy at work?

Yes, go and do something nice! Then you won't feel as cross.

Yeah feels like a waste of time, I don’t really want to sit around on the off chance he contacts me now wanting to head there. Definitely not impressed!

He uses his phone and social media a lot for work, he’s on his phone really often so it’s virtually impossible he wouldn’t have had the chance to send a quick message - just getting the impression he can’t be arsed for some reason and hasn’t bothered!

I think I’ll do this if I don’t hear from him by 2 - I have a local friend on maternity at the moment who will definitely be up for a walk in the park and a nice coffee so I’m not sitting around feeling sorry for myself! 😁

Yes that’s rubbish of him OP, something similar happened to me recently. Really baffling. Hope you manage to have a good afternoon anyway..

I thought this kind of behaviour was normal now in OLD, getting ghosted. Not that it is acceptable but seems to have happened at least once to most people I know who have used OLD.

I would just move on OP you have had a clear early indicator that this guy is not reliable. Unless he comes back with some genuine excuse for not contacting you on a timely way I wouldn't bother engaging.

Rude of him, it should of cancelled if he wasn't feeling it. Go for some retail therapy, you'll soon forget him.

Sorry you’ve been in a similar situation - it’s a shame it seems quite common nowadays, doesn’t take much to cancel or let someone know you don’t feel like meeting anymore rather than being rude! Thank you, I’ll get some fresh air and feel fine about it by later on I’m sure 😊

You should value your own time, even though he doesn't.

My online dating experience since May - dates arranged 13 - dates that happened 7. It’s one of the worst things about it. There’s no accountability. I thought I’d found the pattern to prevent it (basically not chasing) but I got ghosted again last week 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s rude but yes it seems to happen a fair bit!
Sorry it’s happened to you. Hope you can enjoy your afternoon

Oh well. What a shame. Just think of all the time you might have wasted if it'd gone further. Hope you have a lovely afternoon!

Even I he messages now, don't go @Plantmom. He needs to learn that your time is valuable and he can't treat you as a last minute option.

Tell him you assumed the date was off due to his lack of communication so you made other plans. He's welcome to plan out another date if he wants to see you.

Don't let him walk all over you. The way you allow them to treat you in the first weeks sets the tone for the whole relationship.

Ugh I’d assume it’s OFF

and make other plans

if he texts say ‘hey sorry didn’t hear and assumed not happening so made other plans ‘
breezily

Did he get in touch OP?

Yep, he gave me a call at three with some waffle about being really busy at work and saying he would give me another call as soon as possible and he really wanted to chat if today is off - I was out at the time with my friend, said no worries I was out now as I had made other plans when I didn’t hear from him. Still yet to receive the call he promised and don’t feel like speaking to him anyway, think this one is going in the bin!

Totally understand stuff happens with work and so on, but the lack of communication til past the time we were meant to meet up just isn’t for me!

Bin him. No one is that busy that they can't find the 30 seconds it takes to reply to a text message. He can't be that invested.

💯 this.

I would have binned him before lunch, if he was interested he’d have planned the date before the day. Rude of him to phone with an excuse past the date time too.

Had a similar thing where id booked a babysitter. As time drew closer he wasn't communicating so it was an instant no from me. Like yours it was 'work'. Fine. So communicate earlier. Dont waste my bloody precious time! And in this case, money. He'll text after, you know that right? Try and rearrange. Dont do it. Once a flake, always a flake

This pretty much sums up my experience with OLD

He probably has 2-3m other women in the go and was holding out for a better offer

Sorry