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Original poster

Am I wrong or my partner?

30 replies

MM1972 · 01/12/2022 13:14

I came home from work the other day and all the lights were on in the house. I am the main breadwinner and bought the house before we got together.
To paint a picture there were 8 roof lights in the kitchen, 2 extractor fan lights, 7 under counter lights, a light in the porch, 3 lights in the hall, 7 lights in the living room, one in the bathroom, one in the downstairs spare room and one on the landing.
I made a comment about the cost of electricity. I don’t think I went overboard.
The next night I came home the house was in total darkness. TV was off and my partner was sitting on the floor in the living room looking forlorn.
Is this behaviour normal? I’ve not lived with a partner before.

OP posts:
Sparklfairy · 01/12/2022 13:17

Oh, some passive aggressive sulking. How attractive.

NotToBeShaked · 01/12/2022 13:19

He's sulking. Dick.

RatherBeRiding · 01/12/2022 13:19

Pathetic. You are the main breadwinner and by the sound of it's your house. Unless he is prepared to pay the electricity bill he should stop behaving like a spoilt brat.

Jodie569 · 01/12/2022 13:20

MM1972 · 01/12/2022 13:14

I came home from work the other day and all the lights were on in the house. I am the main breadwinner and bought the house before we got together.
To paint a picture there were 8 roof lights in the kitchen, 2 extractor fan lights, 7 under counter lights, a light in the porch, 3 lights in the hall, 7 lights in the living room, one in the bathroom, one in the downstairs spare room and one on the landing.
I made a comment about the cost of electricity. I don’t think I went overboard.
The next night I came home the house was in total darkness. TV was off and my partner was sitting on the floor in the living room looking forlorn.
Is this behaviour normal? I’ve not lived with a partner before.

I'd be fuming, no you wasn't in the wrong and they are being immature.

girlmom21 · 01/12/2022 13:22

Oh what an immature twat.

OldTinHat · 01/12/2022 13:41

He probably had everything on and turned it all off just before you were due home. What an arse! I hope you didn't pass comment, that would have disappointed him!

MMmomDD · 01/12/2022 13:46

Tell him/bet to grow up.
And get them to work and there the bills.

FloydPepper · 01/12/2022 13:55

Yet again the assumption that the partner in the wrong is a he.

OP I think she was being passive aggressive and being a bit of a dick. It annoys me when all lights are left on and you were ok to point it out.

sneezingpandamum · 01/12/2022 13:57

Does he contribute towards the bills?

MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 01/12/2022 13:58

He's sulking. Why doesn't he pay towards the bills?

arethereanyleftatall · 01/12/2022 14:04

Depends. Either as above - passive aggressive sulking from him, or, and we don't know, you've only said your side, he walks on egg shells around you, and you either went more overboard than you thought, or it was one of a line of comments.

I guess what happened next will tell you which one it was.

caramac04 · 01/12/2022 14:06

They’re a twat

Ilovetocrochet · 01/12/2022 14:07

i would have assumed it was a joke and just laughed! I used to go round the house turning lights off when I had children until they learnt to do the same. A few gentle conversations about the cost or the environmental concerns was enough to remind them.

Obviously if you are out you need to rely on him being careful but surely if you love each other, you can work something out amicably.

DinaofCloud9 · 01/12/2022 14:07

Maybe it was a joke. Bit poor but harmless.

Mamoun · 01/12/2022 14:09

He can't take a harmless, completely justified comment. Gaslighting you to make you come across as the abusive one.

I would walk out before it is too late...

Best of luck

MichelleScarn · 01/12/2022 14:10

Passive aggressive drama llama behaviour from partner.

Why the need to sit on the floor? Would have ignored that!

DenholmElliot11 · 01/12/2022 14:12

Get rid of him. He's putting on all those lights deliberately in the first place - so that you have big bills to pay. Because he's a cunt.

RandomMusings7 · 01/12/2022 14:13

What he's doing is emotionally manipulative. He's acting like a victim and making you feel bad and question yourself.

Looks very immature on the surface, but I would venture to say it's actually well thought out scheme to gaslight you into obedience.

I assume he doesn't pay 50% of the bills...?

DosCervezas · 01/12/2022 14:17

Surely everyone nowadays is reminding others about turning lights off etc. If they aren't they must have more money than sense. My kids have started calling me Jim Royle lately as I go on about it that much. They take the reminders and I take the nickname, it's all good. Certainly no need at all for the sulking. Is he always so blasé with money and costs? The fact things cost a lot doesn't register with some people, especially if they aren't the one paying.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 01/12/2022 14:20

What a manchild. Sulking and sitting in the dark because he was asked to turn lights off.

Throw it back. It won't get better.

DecayedStrumpet · 01/12/2022 14:21

DH? Is that you?

I would totally do this, but it would be an obviously-piss-taking forlorn face... and I might mutter "so dark... so lonely.... soooooo cold" or something

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 01/12/2022 14:21

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 01/12/2022 14:20

What a manchild. Sulking and sitting in the dark because he was asked to turn lights off.

Throw it back. It won't get better.

Same applies if partner is a woman (apart from the manchild bit). Sorry for the assumption there.

Dacadactyl · 01/12/2022 14:22

OMG, surely he was joking???

Id have burst out laughjng if my husband had done that, assuming it was a joke.

If hes for real, you need to get shot. Hes an odd bod.

Confusednecklace · 01/12/2022 14:24

I'd have assumed it was a joke too.

(Also, although I think it's fine to remind your OH to switch lights off, I wouldn't link that you to you being the main breadwinner. Imagine if a man did this.)

Shodan · 01/12/2022 14:27

In my house I would have assumed it was a joke. I ask ds2 if the bathroom is scared of the dark and is that why he's left the light on again.

But if your partner/relationship isn't the jokey kind then it's very unsexy behaviour.

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