Ex boyfriend narcissistic behaviour

[Yellowducksarecute]

So ex broke up with me in September he lives with parents now. He went on a holiday with his guys friends straight after. He bought himself a new ps5 and now he’s booked another lads holiday. While he doesn’t pay anything towards his parents house and I have the whole of my house to pay for now I’m a student. He says he’s coming back next year but he likes how things are now (because he has no financial responsibilities basically) We have a daughter I have her majority because he works night shifts. I’m disappointed in him he should be making holidays with his daughter but instead he’s spoiling himself and acting like a teenager. It’s bizarre I feel so let down and he booked the holiday without asking if I’m even free to watch her.

What do you mean "he says he is coming back next year"

Whose name is on the mortgage / tenancy for the house, presuming he used to live there with you? Is he paying maintenance for your daughter?

Coming back home to live with us again

He pays £100 a month and it’s all in my name

Are you claiming through CMS?

If the house is in your name, he doesn’t get to move back in, what on earth makes him think he has any right to do that?!

Ok so let’s unpick this one….

1. He should pay proper child maintenance. Use the CMS calculator to determine how much and then pursue that with him. Your kid deserves that money. 2). You cannot control your exes actions. Yes it would be great if he would use his holiday to spend with his kid but it sounds like he is an arse so unlikely to do so. Don’t rely on him and see point (1). 3). As mentioned in point 2 - this guy is an arse. Who gives a fuck if he wants to come back to live with you next year? You are far too much of a strong independent woman to want to live with an arse. See point 1 and move on and find yourself something (happily single, new partner or other) better, more fulfilling and less arse-filled.

Yeah I am. He’s made it out that we do 50/50 but it’s hardly that at all. it’s frustrating because he shares a room with our daughter at their parents house so it really ruins our bed routine too :(

That’s very true I don’t really want him back he’s the most selfish person I’ve ever met and his parents don’t bat an eye

Can you not challenge that? I haven’t had to make a claim through them so don’t know how it works, but surely it’s not based on whatever bullshit a man tells them?

What does he mean by 'he likes the way it is'? what is he referring to? does he believe you are both still in a relationship and that he gets to come and go as he pleases? Puta stop to this immediately. He is taking the piss out of you and so is his family for enabling this childish behaviour. Go through the proper channels to get CMS for your child, and get in place a structured visiting schedule for him to spend time with his child. Do not be bending over backwards for him. Regarding these lads holidays, let him embarrass himself, but what do you mean when you say he doesn't know if your free to have your child? how often does he have the baby?

CMS is counted on overnights per year. Does he really have your kids 15 of 30 nights per month? It's not 50:50 if he does not. If he does have your kids that often he should be responsible for feeding them in that time, clothing them, childcare costs for his 15 nights during school holidays for example.

Take a serious look at what is best for your kids... Routine! So your ex should have them on a regular agreed schedule. 50:50 CAN work but it is hard to make it work well for kids as it is disruptive.

You need a big deep breath and divorce your personal feelings for the arse from what is best for the kids and then what that means financially. Then you need to present this in a business-like fashion to him.