Divorce is final

[Goingmad21]

Not really posted before.
just feeling a little empty and emotional. Not sure what I’m looking for but, it’s been a long 2.5 years since we separated. A very controlling , narcissistic relationship. It’s all I ever wanted to be finally free but getting the email today, was just weird. So many emotions, happy, sad, confused. And just a bit weird.
it’s the finalisation that I need to be able to move on, but it just feels a bit surreal, that it’s over completly. I should be overjoyed, and I am deep down, It’s just end the of a huge part of my life and don’t have many friends that have been through this and don’t seem to understand that although Im happy it’s done. There’s a huge sadness that what we signed up didn’t work and it’s just been a very emotional day.
sorry for not making much sense, it’s been a massively surreal day

Completely natural reaction - I had similar. Regret/sadness for the loss of a relationship - the what could have been - even though the relationship was broken so also relief and a sense of final freedom!.

Thankyou. It’s a massive relief. Just so overwhelming

I'm part way through my divorce but can imagine having the same feelings when it's eventually legally over as well as physically emotionally and financially. I'm not looking forward to that day actually. We were together 17 years. Not all great but not all bad either. I can imagine the cycle of emotions you are feeling is pretty overwhelming and perhaps confusing especially if you are feeling sadness about a man who made you unhappy

It's a natural feeling.

I felt sad when my divorce came through but then I filed it in my document folder and it's done. What else can you do.

It's fine to be sad.

But please recognise that it's done. It's just a part of your life that wasn't working so now you have a clean slate. To do whatever you want with whoever you want.

Your free, better off mentally.

Enjoy your new freedom xx

Sending hugs OP enjoy your freedom xxx

Sending you a hug. I’m not even half way through, but I recognise all those emotions 💐

I felt very flat and sad when my divorce came through. Despite it having been incredibly stressful and the relief of it all. But I didn't sign up to get married to get divorced and it was a final shut door on what we had and what might have been.
Your response is a natural one. I think it's rare that people get out the party poppers when the letter comes through in the end.
Be kind to yourself OP. allow yourself as much time as you need to reflect and move on x

It's a very strange thing when it finally comes. Feel it all, and sit with it rathet then keeping busy etc. let it process.
It's so mixed especially when the result is actually a bonus. It doesn't matter because it's a big life event.

I cried a lot that day. I never cry really. Had to take a half day off work as I was in a mess. This was 5 years post separation and similar relationship background to yours (abuse)

Good news was, I got over it pretty quickly and now it's a relief

I'm in the process too, also divorcing a narcisst, very very difficult man. I am looking forward to be free of him, but imagine I will feel similar to you on that final day. I was married to him for 30 years and we have three dds so obviously not a period of time I can just write off.

Thankyou all for your replies, nice to feel I’m not alone. Everyone around me seems to think i should be throwing a party. Maybe once it’s sunk in I’ll feel like celebrating but for now, it’s time for me and the children.

Hugs, it can feel crap even though you know it is the right thing to do and what you want to happen.

We had a hostile break up, but then amicable separation after and due to massive backlogs at the divorce courts all the admin took a long time. I had moved on and was with my lovely DP by the time the divorce actually came through but I remember sobbing when I got the decree absolute through.