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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Marriage Counselling for Xmas Present

16 replies

JoeyLin · 30/11/2022 14:03

I wouldn't say our relationship is in a critical state. But since we had our baby a lot has changed and there are things we could get some help on.

Would it be completely ridiculous to get 'marriage counselling' as an Xmas present?

OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 30/11/2022 14:05

Yes.

Very 90s Eastenders.

harriethoyle · 30/11/2022 14:07

Unless this is something your spouse has expressed an interest in as a Christmas present, it would be a no from me. If my DH got me marriage counselling for Christmas, he wouldn't have a marriage left to counsel...

RandomMusings7 · 30/11/2022 14:07

There's a good chance he would be offended. Especially if you haven't broached the subject of therapy with him before.

Orangesatsuma · 30/11/2022 14:08

You might as well just file for divorce now! I can’t imagine a worse present to receive on Christmas Day!

SavingKitten · 30/11/2022 14:08

Yeah sounds like quite a sarcastic ‘I don’t like you’ type present to be honest.

candycane10 · 30/11/2022 14:12

Unless it's been a discussion and you've both expressed an interest, as in "would love marriage counselling but can't afford it, let's prioritise that over buying presents for each other"

I def wouldn't "surprise" a spouse with it under the tree on Xmas morning

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 30/11/2022 14:15

Dear god no OP.

Outofnowhere · 30/11/2022 14:15

You’re joking?

BatshitBanshee · 30/11/2022 14:18

It's a bit passive aggressive and unless you've spoken about it previously, I wouldn't. Blindsiding someone with counselling is very unfair.

mindutopia · 30/11/2022 14:24

Dear god, yes.

How about instead a nice evening away or a meal out to spend time together?

Snipples · 30/11/2022 14:33

I'd be crushed to receive this as a gift. However well intended. One for you to discuss in a quiet moment but not on Christmas Day.

PandaOrLion · 30/11/2022 14:34

I’m a therapist. I highly recommend you don’t do this.

Original poster
JoeyLin · 30/11/2022 14:40

candycane10 · 30/11/2022 14:12

Unless it's been a discussion and you've both expressed an interest, as in "would love marriage counselling but can't afford it, let's prioritise that over buying presents for each other"

I def wouldn't "surprise" a spouse with it under the tree on Xmas morning

Yes, this is exactly how it would be. I wasn't intended on buying counselling gift voucher to put under the tree. I was going to suggest how we could do with support and lets make it a priority 'spend' present for us both.

OP posts:
HomeTheatreSystem · 30/11/2022 14:41

Don't! Just because it's needed (like tea towels, waste paper baskets and hoovers) doesn't make it a good Christmas present.

RaRaRaspoutine · 30/11/2022 14:59

Reminds me of the time I got a face steamer "to help with my acne" when I was 13 lol. Probably was needed, definitely DIDN'T want it as a present. It's pretty passive-aggressive.

CatLick · 30/11/2022 14:59

Try to have the least stressful Christmas you can and if there are issues maybe package it as a New Years resolution.

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