Hi there. I hope someone can offer some advice. Our mother has always been very difficult (critical of us and everyone around, judgemental, everything has to be her way or she flies off the handle) but since my Dad died a few years ago and she has suffered some health problems she has become unbearable. She has scared away her gardener with her rudeness and her window cleaners and she has fired three cleaners so far. I live at the other end of the country but visit once a month for a week. My sister and niece are close by but don't get on with her so visit 3-4 times a week and do her shopping and cooking those days or when she asks.
She has had every test going plus hospital stays but the only thing they can find wrong is neuropathy in her feet. She rarely moves from her chair all day despite the doctor giving her exercises and I think this is making her worse (she won't hear of it though) and her diet is full of sugar. She wants to go out of the house but she does leave she is never happy and worried she will fall.
I would like to try and get her some kind of home help but I'm not sure what would be suitable or what she could claim for. She doesn't want a nurse. We have tried to sign her up to various groups but she has no interest. Is there such a thing as a home helper who will come in and clean but also sit and have a cup of tea and a chat? My fear is that if we find someone like that she will eventually make them run away with her rudeness. I'm also not sure if I am helping her by not being honest with her and how she is. I feel she's too old to change.