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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Cheating partner, what to do?

28 replies

annon22 · 30/11/2022 07:22

Hello, in need of some advice! 😳

My partner of 3 years is a known cheater, had an affair in previous relationship, married her and then left her a week later for this other woman...awful i know!

I was head over heels for him, had inly ever been with 1 other person and he was pure excitement for me, we did so much, went so many places...he gave me what i never bad before.

Fast forward to now we have 2 children together 16month old and an 11 week old! When i was 28 weeks pregnant with our second my friend messaged me to tell me my partner had been trying to meet her friend for a number of months, talking on and off etc i confronted him he said was just a friend etc but why hide it?🧐 and hide me and our children from her! I stayed to work through if, then 2-3 weeks after that i found messages on his watch to a colleague (who he says gets around alot at work) talking about those two meeting in the cctv room so she can suck his...and cant meet in car, people round etc! Again i confront him, says it was just banter and nothing happened! He begged me to stay, cried the lot!

So i stayed...so my question is, am i fool for staying? Is he just going to do this again?

OP posts:
gaf · 01/12/2022 12:25

It’s the usual story of you thought you were different right? You were the one who was going to change him. Well, it just doesn’t work like that. You could stay, but he’ll continue to cheat on you. Your children deserve better than that.

Interviewnamechange · 01/12/2022 23:38

Of course it’s going to happen again. It isn’t about you, whether he loves you is irrelevant. He has shown you his character (even before you started a relationship ship) and you okayed it when you began a relationship with him.

You have two options, stay and turn a blind eye, or leave.

ellsbellsxx · 02/12/2022 03:19

@annon22 I can totally sympathise with you. I've been there, no kids involved but knew this guy had a terrible reputation, decided I had to make my own mistakes and not go off what everyone said. Fell totally in love with him and he cheated on me the full 5 years of our relationship, don't get me wrong we had some amazing memories together but it doesn't take away how much he hurt me.

Definitely leave, he will never change xx

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