Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Breaking up with a friend?

4 replies

CidleyDidley · 30/11/2022 01:05

I've been good friends with K for 11 years, we met at the school gates, I've always supported her including when she set up a business (working & babysitting when she was busy), her father's death and divorce (attended solicitor and financial meetings with her). We have DDs aged 14 who have been friends since pre-school and who have both enjoyed a very close friendship group consisting 4 girls. In the last 12 months K's DD has been increasingly mean to my DD; K's DD is a narcissist: massive ego, bossy, manipulative, no empathy but also a lot of fun. Four months ago K and I fell out over the girls, I don't know exactly why but it follows a party the 4 girls went to. My daughter had no contact from her 3 friends throughout the entire 6 week summer holidays. One of the other mums had no idea there was a problem and her daughter was adamant there was no problem. The 4 girls have since cleared their air (the 3 girls saying they tried to contact my DD but she never responded to their messages, which is absolute rubbish) but their relationship is probably irretrievable. Last weekend K tried to talk to me, I've agreed to meet her and clear the air for the sake of our mutual friends, but I don't really want to talk to K - I feel she watched/allowed my DD be ostracised by her friends through the summer holidays. (Could there be a worse time?) I don't think I can forgive K, I've spent hours and hours obsessing about what me and/or my DD could possibly have done to cause all this? I've drawn a line under it all, moved on and don't want to go back there; I did try to talk to K back in July but she gave me the V sign when she saw me approaching.

I'm not really sure what I'm asking, perhaps I'm simply ordering my thoughts.

(Thankfully my DD is a popular, sporty girl and had busy and great summer, but I know she's incredibly hurt.)

OP posts:
KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 30/11/2022 06:11

I think it’s a shame that adults that were close friends fall out over something between 14 year olds. It’s not unusual for teenage girls to break friends/make friends - your friendship with the mum is a separate thing and perhaps you should be showing your daughter that female friendships should last the test of time. That said, if my friend gave me the V sign, I’d be waiting for her to apologise!

Grumpusaurus · 30/11/2022 06:11

I would not bother with her. She had ample time to sort things out. Now suddenly, you are supposed to jump when she was so rude to you before - I'd give her the virtual stinky finger after her 'V' sign!

Doingmybest12 · 30/11/2022 06:25

I couldn't be friends with a grown adult who gave me the V. You won't be able to go back to how things were anyway. No point meeting to go over old ground. I'd just say we've all moved on and leave it at that .

category12 · 30/11/2022 06:29

I think it's a bit much to write off a 14 yr old as a narcissist. I can't see you resolving things with the mother while you hold such a strong dislike for the dd.

I can understand why you would feel that way, but it sounds like a sadly fairly normal fall-out of teenagers.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread