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Original poster

Navigating Ethical Non-Monogamy

29 replies

KillingEevee · 29/11/2022 19:49

I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea on MN, but hopefully those who are successfully navigating it can offer some advice.

I’m in the early days of exploring additional relationships (married to a man, additional relationships are with women), but struggling a bit with some of the feelings around it.

Is there a friendly community somewhere of those in ENM relationships who might offer advice? Or can anyone recommend a therapist that specialises in helping those in relationships like this?

OP posts:
waddledee · 03/12/2022 09:07

NameChangingIsAddictive · 02/12/2022 21:14

@waddledee that's a really honest balanced post and I agree if embarking on enm those involved do need emotional maturity for such a complex situation, and a lot of trust and respect for each other to be honest and open. The whole conversation takes maturity.

When you say that if you could go back and afford therapy first, what do you feel that therapy would have done to change the outcome for you? Do you think talking about it could have been enough for you to express your feelings and not take any action, or do you feel that therapy could have helped you do things differently?

It's an interesting topic and not a one size fits all, it's quite difficult to have these conversations and also knowing who to have them with.

@NameChangingIsAddictive I don't think anything would have changed the outcome - even going back in time - I would do it all again because it was a valuable experience in my life.

Not all relationships/ experiences are meant to last forever and sometimes it's painful and that's OK - I don't have any regrets.

However I think having a therapist to talk to might have helped me to work things out and navigate my feelings, and just know myself a little bit better. I think it would have helped me experience slightly less pain/ confusion and given me a bit more ownership.

jeaux90 · 03/12/2022 09:09

Newusernameaug · 29/11/2022 19:52

Fair trade fucks only?! 😂

😂😂

NameChangingIsAddictive · 03/12/2022 11:44

Thanks @waddledee that's really helpful, it's all a lot to think about and it's good to hear other experiences and like a previous post said, it's not something we'd talk to friends about like we would about typical relationship things.

BlackberryandNettle · 28/02/2023 14:06

I realise this thread is from a couple of months ago but just to say I think the number of posts on this is because enm is something that has massively taken off. It's something that I've been aware of for years (but not doing - I'm bi and found the concept intriguing). Once you've become aware of it it becomes apparent that huge numbers of people, including lots of our friends, are dabbling in this so you're definitely not alone in embarking on this type of setup

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