Seperating When Stepchildren are Involved

[Loveangelmusicbaby2]

Has anyone got any experience of navigating a break up when stepchildren are involved?

For the last five years I have been in a relationship where we each have a child from previous relationships. The children get along very well and we have been lucky enough to be able to ensure that both children are with us on the same days at weekends and in the school holidays which has given us the opportunity to enjoy lots of family time together.

The bond that my partner and I have with both children is lovely and when we got together it was such a bonus that both children got along so well too.

After coming out of a very bad relationship and spending many years as a single parent I was really happy when my partner and I met and I honestly believed we would be together forever. Sadly my partner told me earlier this year that there were no longer feelings from their side and that the love and attraction had gone. We decided to take a step back to take a step forward and live in separate houses while we tried to salvage the relationship. I don't want to lose my partner or my stepchild however as time has gone on it has become clear that things are not getting better and some of the things my partner has said to me about the lack of feelings has completely destroyed my confidence and hope of ever being able to trust anyone again.

The situation has been very stressful and upsetting and I know for my own mental health that I can not continue for much longer putting my all into a relationship that the other person has checked out of. The hardest part of coming to my decision has been the thought me and my child no longer seeing or having contact with my stepchild. The pain when I think of living my life without my stepchild in it is unbearable and I know this will also be extremely painful for my child too. My partner has already told me that if we were to separate then it would be a completely clean break and the children would no longer have contact with each other or their stepparents.

Has anyone else been in this situation? How did you navigate things and how did you cope? I have been through painful break ups previously but knowing that I will lose my stepchild through this is heartbreaking 💔

Thank you for reading.

I haven't been through your situation but didn't want to read and run. I have 2 children in my life that I love as they are my partners children. I know it would break my heart to lose them so you have my sympathies. xx

I’m so sorry, this is desperately sad for you and your DD

for what it’s worth I think your exdp is being horrendously selfish saying that there is to be no contact between you and the children after the break ; your kids didn’t choose to be brought into a new relationship but having made them part of it it’s so wrong for the adults to then rip them out of it when it comes to an end

I have been on the outside of a similar situation - my exdp left a partner that my children adored and he didn’t let them say goodbye and made them and her remove their numbers from their phones so they couldn’t speak . I did interfere in the end and with his permission arranged a chat between his ex and my children who were desolate that they’d never see her again . They did feel better for talking to her and although they text occasionally the contact has dwindled over time but in a natural way

if your exdp won’t allow some contact then I don’t think there is much you can do I fortunately … altho is me amazed if the kids don’t find a way to stay in touch with each other over one social media platform or another