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Original poster

I told a silly lie about my GCSEs

47 replies

HMum19 · 28/11/2022 07:40

So at the beginning of my relationship I over-exaggerated my GCSE qualifications to my now boyfriend, it was harmless, we'd had a drink and I just said how I'd smashed them and got A's in most (actually it was a mixture of A, Bs and a C) not a massive deal really but my boyfriend brings it up now and again saying what a genius I am and capable of so much etc etc and I've just always brushed over it since, But it does play on my mind that I told that little fib way back when and I worry that he defines me on that (being really smart, which I do like to think I am anyway!). It's so small and harmless but I'm a very honest person and im starting to think I should fess up. I worry his perception of me will change and he will wonder why I told such a pathetic little lie?
Do I just leave it or bring it up? Btw, our GCSEs were over 14 years ago! It's such a stupid thing to even worry about but suppose I got myself in this mess.

OP posts:
WeAreTheHeroes · 28/11/2022 07:44

Pretty strange of him to think that childhood GCSE results are a marker of how intelligent you are. Just fess up that you exaggerated then he kept going on about it and it wasn't easy to come clean.

I take it the reason you're asking here is because you're worried about his reaction?

Fairislefandango · 28/11/2022 07:49

How bizarre that he thinks mostly As at GCSE make someone a genius! I'd tell him tbh - otherwise it will keep niggling at you

GreyCarpet · 28/11/2022 08:00

I'm inclined to agree with the previous posters.

As at GCSE indicate someone worked hard but they're hardly a marker of great intelligence!

I'd just tell him that you said it as a bit of a joke and didn't expect him to take it so seriously. Or just forget about it. GCSEs are nothing but the key to unlock the door to A Levels/college. Once you've completed the next level of education, they're utterly meaningless for most people.

YourBestie · 28/11/2022 08:03

Tell him x
It will be ok - just be honest and apologetic. He will call you a silly sausage and you can move on.

PaulaTrilloe · 28/11/2022 08:06

At least you hadn't fibbed about them to an employer!

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 28/11/2022 08:12

Or you could come across your certificates and say that you thought you had done better, bame bad memory but shrug it off as not important now.

HortensiaBlogs · 28/11/2022 08:15

Did you go on to A levels and higher education? Surely those are more relevant. Not many people talk about their GCSEs once they're done and dusted.

Changechangychange · 28/11/2022 08:16

Did you do A levels?

I’m just trying to imagine the context here - is he saying that as you did well in your GCSEs you should have stayed on for A levels when you didn’t. That is quite sweet of him, but if you got a mixture of A-C grades presumably you could also have stayed on if you’d wanted, so just tell him you chose to do whatever you did and are happy with that.

Or did you continue on to A levels/university and he is still harping on about your GCSEs? Because that is weird.

Georgeskitchen · 28/11/2022 08:19

Why does he feel the need to keep bringing it up?

AnotherCountryMummy · 28/11/2022 08:29

A little bizarre that he keeps bringing up exams that you did at 15 or 16... as a child!

Is he unqualified or did he not do well? I don't mean that in a nasty way at all, I'm just wondering why he might be stuck on GCSEs.

Bluesheep8 · 28/11/2022 08:52

Once you've completed the next level of education, they're utterly meaningless for most people.

This.

SD1978 · 28/11/2022 08:57

I can not imagine this being something that a partner would bring up regularly as something I'd 'achieved' that they were proud of- have you done nothing else academically since? He wasn't even around at that time- I find his reaction weird..

Choconut · 28/11/2022 08:59

Just say you slightly exaggerated when you were drunk and got A's in pottery and animal studies but did get more of a mix really and you've been feeling really stupid and embarrassed ever since.

CaptainMyCaptain · 28/11/2022 09:02

My husband doesn't even know my O or A level grades. He knows I have a degree because of my job but I can't see why, as an adult, GCSE results would be of any interest to anyone other than, maybe, potential employers.

If he brings the subject up again I think he's being weird.

Original poster
HMum19 · 28/11/2022 09:03

Changechangychange · 28/11/2022 08:16

Did you do A levels?

I’m just trying to imagine the context here - is he saying that as you did well in your GCSEs you should have stayed on for A levels when you didn’t. That is quite sweet of him, but if you got a mixture of A-C grades presumably you could also have stayed on if you’d wanted, so just tell him you chose to do whatever you did and are happy with that.

Or did you continue on to A levels/university and he is still harping on about your GCSEs? Because that is weird.

No, I think this is why he brings it up so much! I dropped out of college (was going through a really rough time in my life) and have worked ever since! I am doing quite well in my job and have worked my way up and done qualifications (NVQs) through work but I think this is why he brings it up cos he will say a lot "you should have went to uni, you could do this you could do that" etc etc. I think it comes from a good place but I do feel paranoid that at some point he might ask to see them 🤣 it is so pathetic as it is such a stupid fib.

OP posts:
SarahAndQuack · 28/11/2022 09:08

I'm assuming the boyfriend brings them up because the OP mentioned them so early on?! He would naturally assume they were very important to the OP and is therefore being nice in bigging her up. We surely all know someone like this, who clings to some detail that isn't really important, and as long as they're a nice person, who cares?

My hunch is that he realises you're a bit insecure about it, OP, and he thinks he's helping by bringing it up. I have no idea what GCSEs my DP has; I can't imagine she would know mine, except I know we both did Art because we both remember enjoying that and she's still very arty now.

I would come clean to him, but also maybe take some time to work out how you can explain to him why you fibbed/ why your GCSEs felt relevant. He obviously likes you for who you are now - why do you think you go back to GCSEs?

SarahAndQuack · 28/11/2022 09:09

(And, you know, there's absolutely no reason you couldn't go on to A Level and university with a mix of A-C grades, so if that is something you want to do - as opposed to something he thinks you want to do - then you're not out of the running at all.)

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 28/11/2022 09:13

I think you should also stop wearing your '2-lengths swimming medal'

ViewFromTheAfternoon · 28/11/2022 09:14

I did a similar thing to this. When I started dating my boyfriend a conversation came up about a school. I told him I was good at English but not so good at maths and got a C. This was a lie.. I'm TERRIBLE at maths and have tried to take it three times and failed each time. It makes me feel really stupid so I didn't want to admit to it. But then a few months into our relationship I wanted to train to become a vet nurse but I needed to retake my maths to do it so I had to fess up because he was like "why do you need to do maths when you've already passed?" Lol oops! He didn't care though at all, I don't think it's that deep so don't worry

MermaidEyes · 28/11/2022 09:14

SarahAndQuack · 28/11/2022 09:08

I'm assuming the boyfriend brings them up because the OP mentioned them so early on?! He would naturally assume they were very important to the OP and is therefore being nice in bigging her up. We surely all know someone like this, who clings to some detail that isn't really important, and as long as they're a nice person, who cares?

My hunch is that he realises you're a bit insecure about it, OP, and he thinks he's helping by bringing it up. I have no idea what GCSEs my DP has; I can't imagine she would know mine, except I know we both did Art because we both remember enjoying that and she's still very arty now.

I would come clean to him, but also maybe take some time to work out how you can explain to him why you fibbed/ why your GCSEs felt relevant. He obviously likes you for who you are now - why do you think you go back to GCSEs?

I agree with this. In fairness you probably have some insecurities to work on because most people wouldn't fib about something like that. He likes you for who you are now, not what exam grades you got.

Original poster
HMum19 · 28/11/2022 09:15

SarahAndQuack · 28/11/2022 09:08

I'm assuming the boyfriend brings them up because the OP mentioned them so early on?! He would naturally assume they were very important to the OP and is therefore being nice in bigging her up. We surely all know someone like this, who clings to some detail that isn't really important, and as long as they're a nice person, who cares?

My hunch is that he realises you're a bit insecure about it, OP, and he thinks he's helping by bringing it up. I have no idea what GCSEs my DP has; I can't imagine she would know mine, except I know we both did Art because we both remember enjoying that and she's still very arty now.

I would come clean to him, but also maybe take some time to work out how you can explain to him why you fibbed/ why your GCSEs felt relevant. He obviously likes you for who you are now - why do you think you go back to GCSEs?

Yes I agree, I do think it comes from a good place from him and I don't think he's being weird in all honesty, I think he does it to give me confidence and try to better myself.
He asked about them in the beginning, just in a conversation about school/ college/ career kind of thing. No idea why I exaggerated, I think I felt a bit intimidated because he is very intelligent and excelling in his career! So stupid of me because I don't think he would have judged me then. However I'm now worried that he was judge me now for fibbing about it... also I do think he has this perception of me that I am very intelligent - I don't know if he is basing that off the gcse results (which is a bit laughable when it was over half my life ago!!) or because of getting to know the person I am.
If you haven't already picked up, I am a massively paranoid over thinker... just feeling stupid about all of this!!!

OP posts:
sevenbyseven · 28/11/2022 09:17

WeAreTheHeroes · 28/11/2022 07:44

Pretty strange of him to think that childhood GCSE results are a marker of how intelligent you are. Just fess up that you exaggerated then he kept going on about it and it wasn't easy to come clean.

I take it the reason you're asking here is because you're worried about his reaction?

Definitely fess up, it's not a big deal, but don't try to blame it on him, take responsibility!

Cheesyfootballs01 · 28/11/2022 09:50

This is such a weird post.

I don’t get why he keeps bringing them up? Assuming it’s because you didn’t go uni? But even with the grades you did get you could have gone to uni but you chose not to.

GCSEs don’t mean much nowadays and basing your intelligence on them seems really bizarre!!

Also it seems like from your post he thinks you need to do better in your career? Which is a bit out of order if you ask me…

HortensiaBlogs · 28/11/2022 10:38

He's very intelligent but says you "should have went to uni"? Maybe ask to see His certificates.

Frostycarrot · 28/11/2022 10:54

Lots of snobs on here op
don’t worry about it though, it sounds like he’s trying to be nice and encouraging. Is this something he says when you’re doubting yourself and your intelligence?

to be fair you could have gone to university with the grades you got. why didnt you? Was it because you felt insecure at the time too?

I think you lying about average grades from 15 years ago is the main issue here, why did you care so much to lie? And if he continues to feel you need encouragement perhaps it’s quite obvious you’re insecure about your intelligence?

most people don’t care about GCSEs, they’re either so long ago or the person has additional qualifications after that, so I think you’re worrying too much either way, and this is more about you being ‘found out’ as unintelligent.